Drama should get out of my business and stay on the television screen .

I really don't like it when people are so immature . We're in highschool , stop being elementary about everything . Like yesterday , I went to go check my myspace , and I signed on to my msn too . I barely go on myspace for like , months ; but I just got on , and of course I was like expecting to have a billion comments , messages , friend requests , etc . But I checked my email , and My ex Chris sent me a message about how I'm yadahyadahyadah it's SO STUPID , we're over , he has no right to constantly harrass me . I swear ; I just looked at it and laughed , because he was being very immature about the whole situation , he thinks that him doing that calling me a whole bunch of unnecessary things & all this all that is going to make me come back to him , and it was just a big waste of time . Then I checked my myspace again , and his little "homegirl" Rachel sent me a message saying the same thing and some other things too , and then calling me a "fucking slut". And I tried replying to her , saying that this is stupid and she's not apart of any of this , and that she shouldn't be sending me hate mail like that , cause all this is just middle school all over again . But she blocked me and took me off her friends . wth ? Its so stupid , she isn't apart of this and she had to go make herself apart of this , and now my ex is telling all his little KR friends all these things that aren't true . Then I checked my truthbox , and someone said I was a slut , and I wonder who that could be . So my "kuya's" got all mad and were threatening to do somethings ... I told them to shut up & not be apart of it though , I could handle it myself , and I made sure they didn't do anything . But then days passed , and my current bf Gerry my homegirls' , my kuya's & I all did our best and cleared shiet up . That day his friend Rachel , the one who sent me the message , texted me and told me that she never sent that message , and that it was my ex who went on her myspace himself and sent it because he was at her house chilling with her and her cousin . And that she only knew this when my cousin from K-dub (Krista: I love that girl(; ) messaged her . And my other homegirl posted a bulletin telling people to stop this drama , and leave me alone . I took her apology & she understood me & my situation , And she thought that my ex was being really immature and stupid about things . But I was so done with this whole drama thing , and it just had to start again , after the whole KL kids thing , I mean , I went to that school for the first couple weeks , so I was cool with people there . But then one of my "kuya's" had to start shitt , and I suddenly got involved . Then , this had to happen , then a whole bunch of rumors about me in other schools are going around . And then this girrrl is all mean mugging me , and talking about everyone behind their back , and is prejudging and all this shit , is bugging me . And all this fcckn drama going on isn't worth it . I mean , we're in high school , its only our first year , we're only freshmen and I know its kind of hard , the transition between middle school into high school , I mean . The drastic change between elementary and middle school was big for everyone , think about the middle school to high school stage . I mean high school is another journey within itself . And , if we keep up with all this drama , were going to have bigger drama when we become true adults . I mean you don't see 2 adults starting "beef" just because one of them has a friend who talks about them , like every single day . Everybody needs to grow up , even if they don't want to , they will eventually have to . Because all this drama is just plain stupid and a waste of time . Focus on your school for all that is good and holy , jesus lord ..

I'm done ranting on about this .

Past vs. Recent

WOW . That is all I can say .. So much has been happening ever since 120608 ; After the Pacquaio party , it's like some messed up roller coaster . There are HUGE ups and HUGE downs . Its like steep ups & downs . A former relationship I had kind of sparked up again at that little party . It messed up my now ex relationship very very bad .. But then again it opened my eyes to who really cared about me . I mean , when you're in the moment with that first , and feelings rush back , you can't help but reminisce . And that was one of the best nights I have ever had . We got left in the room , and started clearing things up about the past , we started confessing everything , just EVERYTHING . Everything got cleared , and we started fresh , new , all over again . I've been so blind before , I never gave my past a chance , when it could have been something actually special and different . And after all that , and throughout all that time we both have never really gotten over each other , we moved on sure , but deep down inside , in the back of our minds , we never gotten over each other , those feelings were always there , that flame , that spark . If there was not flame there , then there would be no flame to spark , is that right . And my most recent ex is just UGH . My besties / cousins made me realize who I should really be with who I really do love , she helped me out so much . How my just most recent was such a jerk toward me when I could only spend an hour or 2 with him , and my past was undeniably happy to be able to just sit beside me , and just stand near me , or just even look / see me . And how when I was with the past he never gave me attitude he was never a jerk , he never made me cry , we never ever had a fight , because there was nothing to fight about , we didn't even break up , people broke us up , and he was always faithful & honest to me . But with my recent , it was way different . He was a jerk to me every night , I cried every night , and my mother was so upset , she even told me ,"All I see you ever do is cry every night over that boy , I don't want you to waste your tears on that boy , What happened to my daughter I don't even know you ." I went through so much unnecessary drama , I put up with his attitude and everything . I make one mistake and I get yelled at by him - to add on to that , my mom yells at me cause I'm crying - he called me a lot of derogatory terms , and told me that I never ever cared for or loved him . I was so put down , and he was never there for me , when I was always there for him . Throughout all that , the only guy that was actually there for me in the end was my past . My recent made me go through so much drama & so much pain these past few days , giving me the guilt trip and all this other bulls*** . He was going to commit suicide till I called the police on his a** . And along with that , I had family problems and all this other shizz . Now there's rumors going around about me and the past , we kept it on the "DL" and now , not just my recent is talking shit about me , but allot of people are thinking helluh low of me . SO much things that aren't true . And its just eating me alive . This is just too much for me . The best I can do is just put on a smile for everyone , the only people that really truly do know is the true friends . I know I can get through this , in time it'll work , I just have to be patient , but it's just so hard . It hurts . It hurts me so much , it hurts my friends , the people around me , my family . And I can't live with myself if someone is hurt because of me . They don't deserve that . No one deserves to get hurt by me .

Pacman ; Manny Pacquaio !

Wooh ! I can't wait for tomorrow ! All Filipino's should know what's going on tomorrow ... MANNY PACQUIAO ! Hahah , Manny Pacquiao (PacMan !) vs Oscar de la Hoya . I'm so excited . Tomorrow , I'm going over to my Friend Krizzelle's house , and we're gunna have a little filipino get together (Krizelle , Kristian , Me , Nikki , Gerry , etc .), I'm just super excited . I've been yelling "Pacquiao !" randomly everywhere I go looking like a psycho . My dad's been talking nonstop about it too . Its too bad we don't have filipino channel - if we had it my dad would divorce my mom & marry the TV - that's why I'm going to Krizelle's house , hahah . But any who , I'm super excited . But not as excited that I have to spend it with Gerry near me ... But anyway , I'm still excited ! I'm trying to be nice to him and that's what I'll do , I won't let him bring me down from watching Pacquiao and plus I have a boyprienddd. Wooh , my Dad was talking on and on about Pacquiao and how he's "Bisaya" just like my dad , and how "Bisaya" people are "matapang" tough and stuff , yadah yadah blah . It was pretty funny . And then he started talking about How its going to be hard for Pacquaio because he's Asian , so he's small and short and de la Hoya is like all big & buff . But I can't wait !!

The Underdog Provails .