I guess dreams really do come true , & happy endings do await you in the future (:

I must say , that I am proud that I have totally moved on (: No more crying , no more drama , no more waiting , no more this no more that , I'm free , but now I've moved on to something much greater .(: I must say , that this time I really don't want to fcck anything up . This time I'm as happy as I've ever been with my life & this person . This time , He's taking care of me & not the other way around . This time , he actually cares about my feelings & my well-being . This time , when he chooses to give something , he puts his heart & all into it . This time , I smile every single waking moment (: This time .. It's different . I want to take it slow this time , I don't wanna ruin this . He's taller than me , frckn BAWM , fitted , caring , nice , funny , talented , etc . And he sacrifices alot for me , vise versa . I keep asking myself ,"WTF WAS HE LONG TIME AGO !?" But ehh , I'm not gunna complain , cause he's here now . I love spending time with him , no matter what we're doing ! & I love how sweet & how good his memory is . Gahh . I think I'mma end this here with one more thing to say ...

I <3 holding Eric D. Nguyen's hand while he drives .. ManoMannnnn (:

What Kind of Family .

What kind of family is never together ?
What kind of family fights everyday ?
What kind of family has to hide everything from each other ?
What kind of family doesn't trust each other ?
What kind of family doesn't listen to each other ?
What kind of family is scared of each other ?
What kind of family has to resort to downgrading each other ?
What kind of family has hypocritical parents ?
What kind of family has parents that only yell ?
What kind of family has a mother & a father that don't really love each other ?
What kind of family isolates each other ?
What kind of family eats breakfast , lunch , and dinner by themselves ?
What kind of family doesn't care about your feelings ?
What kind of family could care less about how your day went ?
What kind of family has a father that slaps his own daughter while the mother watches blankly ?
What kind of family throws things at each other ?
What kind of family has a brother & a sister that hides in the bathroom/closet to evade flying objects ?
What kind of family hasn't heard an "I love you" for years ?

This isn't a family . This is a goddamn war zone in a 2.5 bathroom , 4 bedroom , 2 story house , where your only ally is you & the outside world .

bullllasssshittt ;

"Aye what it do, its a new HacC and right now its effin 10:17 and shit its kinda late, and im a lil natural highness but shit, this aint gunna stop me from hacCin' you baby ko', well Shit today is our first month and like im so glad we made it! Baby i love you and thank you for sticCing with me through all the timez i fucCed up ! im so sorry that i did stupid shit, like im so happy that you are giving me a chance, This hacC is going to be special cause its our first month, Well lets get started now :D. Baby through the 30 Days we have been together, I've been feelin' so good inside that I cant even bare to hide it, Like your my nicotine to m cigarrette, your my happiness when I feel so High, Your my beautiful flower pedals to my rose! Girl with you, I feel so special cause shit I never met a girl who would give me a second chance for even fucCing up once, First lets say that babe, I love you with all my heart and no nicCa can change that and no female can either. I love you so much__

[6/6/2009 10:17:43 PM] ______________________.: baby i love you...__

[6/6/2009 10:26:44 PM] ______________________.: babe im dropping all thefemales for you cause i know ur my cure to and also i know you been through all that bs cause you told me and i aint going to do fucked up shit like that, like i know at times i can be a _______ or w.e and i know that i fell hard and fast for you too cause of the stuff im saying to you. babe your the only one i want, no1 else your my filipina queen and nobody else can change that __

[6/6/2009 10:38:04 PM] ______________________.: Omg babe your all i think about to when i sleep,wake up, moving,studying, playing games, football, school, and even with family babe your all i think about now and i hella wanna be with, im falling in love with you also babe cause honestly this stuff wouldnt be fake, i would never try to be fake or anything to you and fucC all them nigga's trying to talk hella head and shit, and i know its only been like wha 4 days and we are like this baby i dont give a fucC anymore your my air so i can breathe your my wings to fly, your my jordans to my stlye, your my everything and i aint never going to lose you cause thats one of the biggest fears i know now, babe i love you and i dont want you ever to be scared when your with me, i love you baby with all my heart and i aint never going to lose you to any1 or any thing, Your my angel from above and thats why i think its destiny for us to be like this, falling for each other like no other and like how we feel for each other, like we have never felt for anybody else, I LOVE YOU FRANCHESKA CAMILLE CASTRO BOSE, AKA FRANCHESKA CAMILLE _________ B.

[6/6/2009 11:25:03 PM] ______________________.: i dont love you babe....

[6/6/2009 11:25:07 PM] ______________________.: im in love with you

[6/6/2009 11:25:25 PM] ______________________.: __

[6/6/2009 11:25:33 PM] ______________________.: your all i need in a girl"

Tell me why it's all bullshit . Tell me why you're lying through you're fucking teeth . Tell me why , Tell me why , Tell me why ...

Response to: Heartescape

REPLY:
Thanks for the comments . LOL , Uhm , I'm not gunna act like a total beeeezy anymore about the subject , cause I am over the whole beef now . Like it's been 2 months . And I'm over it , good job for you for sticking up for your bestfriend . Thanks for not looking at the date , or knowing my current mindset on shitt , I liked the whole reality check , even though to be honest it didn't do shit , but thanks . lol . I'm not gunna defend myself , or contradict any statements that you brought out there , but Thanks ! I know I'm insecure , I know I'm trashy , hypocritical at times , I know I'm stupid , I know I like being right (who doesn't) , my reputations in the toilet , Loll , DUHH I don't know the definition of pretty , I'm not a fucking dictionary , lol , I'm human , I like being human , NO ONE'S perfect , everyone has talked shit , everyone has been hypocritical , pshhh , we're human , you're human too . I learned that I know it & I admit it , I'm not deleting the blog/rant "Part 2: BITCHES ! (RANT)" , as proof that I can't take shit back . Those are my thoughts from 2 months ago , my opinions ; I'm not taking any of it back or anything , because it's all out there , but right now , as I look back at it , I laugh at how stupid I was when I was absolutely mad . loll , I find it funny how I wrote all that , just so I wouldn't hurt something physically , It made me laugh at how mad I was . loll , but anyway . You don't even know the whole story , except for the side she tells you , fyi she didn't keep it just to herself , and people barely even read this shit . lol You have nothing to worry about . Any way , overall , I'm donee with it ; dropped it , and I want you to think what you want about me , if you wanna spread shit , DO IT , I dare you , but then that would bring you to a low level too , so that's up to you , But anyway , I wrote that rant 2 months ago , loll , I got over that shit like a week after I wrote that . Soooo again good for you for being such a good friend . Gooo have fun . So long , farewell goodbye . Unless you wanna bring it up again . lol . be my guest .

Ohh & P.S. I don't know who you are . And when you said: "I'M the girl you thought would turn ugly based on the cigarettes I smoke....and the one you thought was "fake scene"." I don't recall me calling someone ugly based on the cigarettes they smoke . lol , & fake scene ? Let me tell you this . I've smoked , i'm gunna admit it okay ? Not proud of it , but hey , I don't do it no more . My ex's smoked , most of my friends smoke , lol we're all HELLUH ugly , matter of fact we're HAMMED UP , but I don't remember me saying someone's gunna turn ugly from all the ciggs they hit .
And I don't even say "fake scene" I don't even know whatthell scene is , but okay , w/e floats your boat . hahah . think what you gotta think , do what you gotta do .




ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
"heartescape has left a new comment on your post "Part 2: BITCHES ! (RANT)":
Okay, So this may not be my problem. But this becomes my problem when you talk shit about my best friend. Not only does this make you look like the weaker person based on the fact that you decided to write almost two pages of shit-talk about someone, but at the same time...you sound incredibly stupid and trashy. This doesn't make you sound any better than who you're trying to talk shit about, especially when you're trying to prove something to everyone. Are you afraid of this person? Do they intimidate you to the point where you have to show the world that you're "right" in this situation? Don't worry dear, it's pretty evident that you're the fucked up one in this situation. It's funny, because everything you wrote in this blog is everything that describes you. Immature,juvenile,pathetic, hypocritical,retarded(based on the fact that every other word you use is either misspelled or a swear word & based on the fact that you supposedly say you want this girl out of your life, but you're the one obsessing over some stupid bullshit).
You're the epitome of an insecure high school bitch who isn't satisfied with themselves so they go off trying to hurt other people's reputations.
But in reality, it won't ever work. In reality you're the one who everyone pities and looks down upon.
In reality, the girl you're talking about is way above your level, and at least she has the decency to keep things between you two rather than posting it on a public blog.
So you tell me who's the "triflin ass".
p.s. if you're not stupid enough to forget about what you've said about ME...I'M the girl you thought would turn ugly based on the cigarettes I smoke....and the one you thought was "fake scene".
Bitch, you don't know what pretty means. And it takes a fake to know a fake.
Lick my asshole and like it. "

(:

WELLL .. IDK what to think say or feelll .. Think sayy or feel ..
Like that ? That's apart of a song I wrote with my homegirrl . Well , anywhoo . Besides that , I really don't know what to think , say , or feel actually . I don't know if I should feel anything , Idk if I should think anything , but I do know I should say something . I'm supposedly supposed to be on a break from relationships , & all that , & boys , but then I got some guy sprung on me , some guy that helluh wants a serious relationship , and then there's guys that like me , but there's this certain guy ... Like IDK ! We liked each other before , our exs which is our first loves dated each other . And we still have those feelings for them , but we're both at the same page & everything , & like we both find each other attractive (x & Idk if I should go through with it because of our first loves , but I want to so badd . I mean he's leaving in a month right ? might as well . IDK , I think I have the right to make myself happy right ? & why not when you're making someone else happy at the same time ? AM I RIGHT ? Yes I am (: Well ... Imma go now . LOL , kk bye !

Mood: Happily Content (:

Everything is going well at the moment (: But this Entry is about , how even the simplest things can be complex , can be the beautiful . You can see that with the picture below . It's amazing how even the lowest quality of cameras (aka my webcam) can produce a picture that looks like so proffessional . It's amazing how a random picture always turns out better than a picture you meant to pose in . I just find it so interesting (:

My One and Only Birthday Wish .

So , I haven't been on this in forever , I honestly forgot about it because I had a tumblr , but then it got blocked , & I didn't wanna make more posts on this , cause like , I didn't want it to get rid of the last post , just cause I really loved that day & post , but this is a new year , & a new me , & a whole lot of new people . Not really new people , but old people that have changed into a new person , some for the better , & some for the worse . I've been wanting a way to get this all out , & I guess this is it . I have a "friend" that I am really fading from , he doesn't go on here anymore , so I guess it's safe , he'll never see this . But when ever I here about him , or talk to him , it all just feels like w/e . Everything seems dead now . I really don't like it , I don't wanna be like that especially with this person . He was such a great person back then , & he promised me that he would never lose contact with me , but that's what's happening now , I know we both moved on , well he did , I didn't really completely move on , but right now I'm not sure . I still helluh care for him , but it's all w/e now . He's the one person that I don't wanna fade away from . He really meant alot to me , and still does . But now , ever since we started fading , he's been doing stuff that could really ruin anybody , he started thizzing , started smoking , started sneaking out , staying out late . The only thing good that happened was that he's focusing on school more . I mean yeah he wasn't an angel before , but I honestly liked the old him . I miss how even if we were in a certain situation , he would talk to me , we would keep each other updated , he'd be honest with me & I'd be honest with him , he wouldn't stay out late unless his parents really approved , & they are pretty lenient . But he was so full of spirit & happy , & full of energy . He'd always put a smile on my face no matter what . And make me the happiest person ever . He was my bestfriend & a valued loved one . But now , it's like , w/e . On the rare occasions we talk now , he's like dead . He has no energy , he seems like he doesn't care , he talks like he doesn't care , it seems like he's not happy . And it's not like he progressively became like this , it's just all of a sudden . And it makes me sad . Ever since we faded , we've went through so much together , & I used to be one of those people that knew the most about him & vise versa , but now , I don't even know him . Now , he's just some stranger to me . Some disintegrating memory . I won't forget all of those memories that we had , cause those memories were the things that most impacted me , they made me who I am today . Those memories were the ones that I promised to you , that I will cherish forever , cause they were worth cherishing forever . I will never ever let them go , how I will eventually fully let you go . I promised that I would never let you go . But that will be the first & last promise that I cannot keep . I used to always hope & pray for you , & they always turned out great , but ever since we made it official to stop everything , & then the 2 months after that when we started fading , I lost hope in you , I lost faith in you , all the prayers I had were all meaningless words . I will stop hoping for you , but I will not stop the prayers . Maybe you'll change someday . Maybe someday . But for now , Stranger that I love so dearly . Goodbye . Because I can't take it anymore . I can't handle the pain I get knowing that you're slowly killing yourself , that you're just giving yourself artificial happiness , that you're becoming that disintegrating memory . I can't take it , you would always avoid something that would hurt me , every single time we talk you always apologize for all the times you've hurt me . You don't see how what you're doing is hurting me , & if your parents & family knew , hurting them . What the hell happened to you . I will never really know . I hope you straighten up by the 27th of February , cause that's all I'll be wishing for my birthday ; is the old you , even if it's only for that one day , that's what my birthday wish is ..