120509(:

(WARNING: People don't read this unless you wanna hear lovey dovvey mushy shit . LOL)
TEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEE (: Last night was so great (: I can't stop cheeesin . Like I'm actually glad I didn't go to Clash . I mean I wanted to , but I didn't . So yesterday was kindaa chaotic . Like , I had the carousel , I did Edross' (Lumpia's) eyebrows . & half of Abby's . LMFAO . then had to dance for the whole tinikling thing , then had to sing for sound connections . It was so tiring , & fcknn COLD . DAMN . And then , had to get ready & all that for olot . Then plans changed , & I was just gunna go to Clash , then plans changed even more , so I just ate & went to a party , & watched movies . lol . But man , so it was jsut family time , Me , Jonathan , Nikole and Mari , hahaha the four cousins . We were helluh munchinn . lol . It was great . hahha . They all came with Jack In the Box , & I ate all her fries . haha then we went to Johnny Rockets . And we all ate chili fries . LOL . MY FAVEE from johnny rockets . lol . & Christina drove down to get my dress from me . omg , & it was like helllluh fcknnn cold . & I was wearing a dress & my lil hooker heels . LOL . they're like 5 inches . lol . ANYWHOO . Then we were just chillen , then Ej came (: then we were all choosing what movie to watch , & we chose blind side . IT WAS SO GOOOOD , I cried hellluh , hahaha , & Jon & Ej made hellluh fun of me .! Damnn Bitches . lol . hahah its koo tho . lol . & like we went to go watch , & Ej held my hand ((((: , and then we were sitting there , & he raised the arm rest thing , & he pulled me close , & he said, "Now me & my date can be close (:" and kissed my cheek :DDDD & he had his arms around me , the whole movie , & he took of his jacket & put it over the two of us . He'd kiss my cheek here & there , or my forehead (: Omg , there was one point where he kissed me , & I kissed him back , & we like madeout for like a minute , haha then I stopped & slapped him . LMFAO . And like he watched the movie already , so like , he told me when there were parts where I needed to like get ready lol , & he'd hold my hand , & like when an intense part came up , I all squeezed his hand . lol , & he'd like "caress" hahah my hand , with his finger , or my side , or my leg . LOL , it was great (: the whole movie , just laying in his arms ; Ahhhhhh (: I miss those times , hahah . But then , there were times , when Jonathan & him would be stupid with their glow sticks . LOL . But yeah , then he had to leave , so he went , gave me a lil kiss hug goodbye . & Then I headed up to KM , went to Olot , there wasn't that much people there , lol , and people wore t-shirts , when it was supposed to be semi-formal . lol . I danced with like , hellluh people (: haha giggin , but it still succked ballls . But its koo , I had a good night , besides the fact that , I checked my phone & I had like 5 missed calls from Ej , but heyyy , I had a great time (: I hope I get to spend more time like that with him , I miss those times (:

What is up with People these days ?

Honestly , I hate relationships . Like I don't even know why I get myself in one , I just can't help it . Yaknow ? Its good while it lasts , but then when both people get lazy & stop committing , and the flame starts dimming , it turns into a huge pile of shitt . Problems erupt , there's so much arguments , no trust , it's fcckn awkward , & when you say I love you , its just words , and there's no meaning behind those words . And you guys just decide to stay in the relationship , because it's like I always used to say to those couples that actually do work out , "Why let go ? If you've been holding on for so long ?" Its stupid . But it works for those couples that are "meant to be" ehh . Honestly I don't think I will find someone like that . Just because the guys that I seem to attract use me as a booty call . You know .. I hate how , so many guys think that they can recycle girls . Girls aren't plastic that you can just throw away when they're all used up or broken and bent , and then you can't just expect to get a new one once you've thrown them away , they're not like little animals that you can lure with just a little sweet talk . Some are like that . But it's mostly the girls that are CLUELESS . Or just , think that they'll marry you the next day . Yeahh . I admit I was at that stage once , like when I was in 5th grade ? But everything's different now , it's high school . We should be over the whole ,"Ohh she's hellluh bawmmm , Imma get on !" Helllno . We should all be after:"WOW , she makes me want to be a better person , she's so down to earth , patient , understanding , caring and beautiful ." I mean sure , being called bawm , and hott , are flattering , but if you're looking for something serious , you want to look for that one person , that could be your best friend , your guardian angel , and your lover . I've been hearing so much about how people think that they can't find love at this age , like it's not possible . Well hunnny , I've been there . And up till now , I haven't stopped loving . I think one of the big things that world is blind about , is Love & Relationships . And I think that the world really needs to think hard about that subject . Cause honestly , everything's going down hill for us , we are headed straight for hell .

Some Songs that Get me Through the Hardest Times .

"Is there a book for every negtive feeling ? Or is what I'm feeling , the first dictionary to include every single negative feeling , real or make believe , ever made or thought ?"

Well . Here's one of the songs that get's me through it & helps me move on with life . (At the bottom there are links & shitt .)

Goodbye by Lyfe Jennings / Ahmir
Sometimes making up is easier than breaking up
We believe if we just fake it enough
We can trick our selves into believing that we're still in love
But in our hearts we know that it's inevitable
Though it's hard to let you go I know I must

Sometimes memories just ain't enough
Sometimes you out grow the ones you love
Sometimes it's none of the above
It's just the fact that people change , no one's to blame
There ain't nothing that stays the same
So we sit around and cry
Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say Goodbye

Sometimes giving second chances is easier than , dealing with the fact that
Once the trust is gone you could never get it back
But your holding on because your afraid of being alone
So here you are holding on to something thats already gone
And don't act like it's the first time you've heard it in this song

Cause your heart done told you all along
If your momma done showed you right from wrong
Nothing should hold you down this long
There's no one to blame nothing stays the same
So we sit around and cry
Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye
So let me be the first to say
Goodbye ...



Other Songs That Keep me Alive (growing list):

• Better In Time by Leona Lewis
• Yesterday by Leona Lewis
• Each Day Gets Better by John Legend
• The Prayer by Kid Cudi
• Ordinary People by John Legend
• The Prayer by Andrea Bocelli
• Listen by Beyonce

Teacher's on Strike ?!

WTF ! Ugh . To be honest , I want school to come on August 31st . It means we get to get out of school earlier next year . The teacher's going on strike , is very controversial to alot of people . Some people think , that its unnecessary , some people think its a necessity . To be honest , yes teachers do need smaller class sizes . But be paid more ? They were already offered a 3% raise . And honestly , even my mom said so , she was really p/o-ed . Most teachers are getting paid more than her , and well , she's a med tech . They should get paid pretty good yaknow ? While she's one of the people that help save lives & find cures & diseases , teachers are teaching kids , sure it really is a full time job . But to be quite honest , we don't need school or teachers , we could all be home schooled yaknow ? But besides that , the point is , yes teachers should be paid , but at the same time , school should be like a not for profit . Teachers should teach for the children . Not just for money . But for the children . This whole big issue is going to keep the 27,000 students hoping for school on the 31st , from getting on with their education . This whole strike is most likely going to delay school . And you know how we're going to make up for those school days ? They're going to cut it out of OUR vacation . They're gunna cut our 2 weeks of winter vacation to 1 week , they're going to cut our spring break to 2 days . To be honest , I'd rather have them cut summer vacation . Those other vacations are actually more needed . But anyway , besides that . This whole strike in the end , might benefit teachers but only by a little bit , and leave us w/o no benefits . What is the world coming to ? Has the recession brought us to steep low to go on strike for a little more money to survive ? And besides that , besides the Kent School District teachers going on strike , I saw on the news yesterday , other Washington School Districts are having strikes of their own . In conclusion to my rant , I end with this expression: AYNAKO !

A Feud more extreme than The Capulets & Montague's has finally been put to rest .

Well . Today was the Orientation for Techies: Tech Camp . It's like a little taste of what's to come off the new year . You get to see a little sneak peak before the real deal comes , of people & how much they changed & who'll accompany you on the new year . Ofcourse there were the kiddys you've just spent the last year with their , No one's changed , drastically since the last day of school besides probably Me , and Abby , and Taylor . Everyone still looked the same . A few people got piercings (Me :D) Ohh & Taylor . SO Much people got haircuts . Some people's hair grew . It was okay . I went to go cut Jonathans hair , meet up with nikole , we helluh skipped like helluh times . There were a couple people I was trying to avoid , but at the same time , be nice to . I passed my Driver's License . The New Tech Rules are GAY ! YadahYadah: tear , cry me a river . The food at the potluck came , it sucked , I wanted real food . The whole thing was plain out boring . Then Got in a huge fight with the MotherDre . Then went home , picked up Karl , played some Naruto (x & Sims 2 Castaway & Some Brawl & Medal of Honor & Quantum Solace , etc . Then Got a text message from a certain someone , a someone that I was trying to avoid & be nice to . Here comes the seriousness Then got a call , and both did some catching up , then it came to a point where we were talking about earlier & then things kind of went out of hand . I stayed composed , and straightened out the situation , and we were fine . For the first time , in like what: almost 3 years of roller coaster feelings , Hidden ambitions , meaningless words , Unneeded arguments & Unacceptable attitude , for the first time , we were cool . We were friends , He told me , that , his total perspective , about me , has changed right then and there , and that he wished he knew the real me earlier . We sorted out past problems that we never got the chance to . We finally talked like how we were supposed to , I finally helped him figure out what to do with his life . Although he isn't really truly over me , & he still has to find a way to do that , at least his mind is set on that , instead of it being set on me . Finally the feud is settled , the war has come to a peace treaty , the battlefield is cleared , and all is sane in the minds of the almost lovers . Funny thing , no one will ever know how much of an impact this is . It is all up to the ones who behold the truth . So I leave , you with this song , You know who you are . Though you will never really read this , here is a song that will explain everything for EVERYONE . Enjoy .

Me You Never Knew - Ray Rush

WOWEEEEE !

Westport , was AMAZING . Well not only Westport , the Indian reservation "La Push Beach" The ocean , Fishing , this weekend ! WOW ! I loved it so much . Like forreal . Fishing was awesome , I sucked at fishing with the net , so I rolled up my favorite pair of jeans , kiccked of my tinelas , went straight in the water , & caught 12 fish with my hands ! Yes , and then a bee came and scared me & I fell in the water -___- , I didn't even have extra clothes , but it was okay . Then came the trip to the West Coast , We picked up my cousin Jon & were OFF ! it was so fun , we went to the docks down in Westport , alot of cool stuff there , then we went to the beach , and stripped & took on the waves , it was amazing , but then we had to like walk all the way back to the showers -___- but the showers were ghetto so we went & used the sink (x Then we went off down to Tahola , A beautiful Indian Reserve , on the coast , and sat & talked & relaxed & fished & thought . That day was probably one of the best out of my summer , besides the fact that I had no reception whatsoever . Sitting on the sand letting the waves crash on you , or just sitting on a rock on the edge of a cliff , or sitting on an abstract piece of drift wood hanging over the ocean , it just allows you to think about things , and relax and allows you to let go of your troubles and let the waves wash them away into the seemingly endless ocean . Still none of that can ever compare to Guam . But it makes you think alot about things , that day was like the first time me & Jon Were ever EVER quiet around each other for more than a minute . I would give alot to live on that reserve . It's just Plain out magical . We took helluh pictures Here's a little taste of Pacific Pride Enjoy (:

a Lil bout Me .

Francheska-ishh:iSing iDance iSurf iFlip iModel iPhotograph iTalk iText iEat iLean iRock iWearsocks iBreathe iDrink iSleep iChill iKill iLoud iRecord iStop iWatch iRhyme iPlay iGame iName iFight iShop iReply iJig iStrap iKrump iDiscover iPoke iFind iPlan iThink iPunch iSqueeze iPaintball iAnnoy iRemember iSatisfy iBawm iBreak iBlind iRob iPlease iBounce iListen iRush iChop iSnap iScrew iCry iSmile iFrown iPractice iReject iObject iRecognize iCare iComplain iSnatch iLong iDestroy iPreach iWink iDrop iEnjoy iFlash iSlap iEntertain iSucceed iDream iRisk iHandle iLast iReplace iScare iPause iGrip iGrab iPop iGlow iRisk iSuck iRain iFlow iHate iHip iHop iSpell iHug iMatter iWorry iMove iPunish iLook iWhip iHaunt iSmash iPush iLick iKiss iLearn iLoad iLock iLook iStretch iZoom iYell iScream iWish iWonder iSuprise iTouch iFeel iWalk iWait iWant iRub iUse iTip iFit iCrank iJock iJack iJerk iTootmyshit iStare iWear iRoll iParty iSwim iSnap iScratch iPromise iSpray iDraw iAct iStep iSkip iShake iShock iRace iDrive iRule iOwn iPown iMug iDo iLaugh iLiveiLove: EldrickJayGuibani

Amazing Youtube .

Not really . Hahah , Just made a new YouTube account , this time I'm not deleting it . Every single time I make an account I always delete it the first week its up . But not this time . Well , there's like 2 new accounts , One is for me & Jon to Vlog (WhatEverWhatsItDoos) and the second one is for my personal uses (FCamilleEntt). Here's a little taste of what is to come . (This is temporary btw .)

Click Here To Watch It !

Well .

I Haven't been blogging for a while , because I have a LIFE ! Yeahh . Well here's an update ! My life is okay . Me & the man are great & going strong , it feels like a year to be honest . I can't believe it , but I GOT A TAN ! Cut my Hair . Damaged my hair more -___- . Got my nose pierced , got fatter , but then again got skinnier & toned (; KUDOS ! I've been chillen so much with people , Finally made a YouTube account (which I won't be deleting .) for Random shittss & For the upcoming adventures of JayCheska/Franathon/Cheskafran&ThanJon . What ever you wanna call it . Still haven't decided on a production name . But finally trademarketed one of the upcoming many: CATCHPHRASES , YEEH ! naww hahah but here it is , are you ready ?

GETFATBITCH!™

PIERCINGS !

They really never dissappeard , they've always been around , but have you noticed how much of a come back it's making ? And I'm not talking about ears . It just seems like every one has a lip ring now . I was gunna get one , but ehh everyone has one now . I was gunna get a monroe , but I already have a marilyn monroe mole . LMFAO . I had a belly button ring , but took it out a long time ago & it closed (ima get another one this year) ; I have my ears pierced . And now I GOT MY NOSE PIERCED ! But I took it out on the 3rd day . It just hurt like a bitch , hahah I felt as if I couldn't even breathe !! And It's supposed to be swollen for weeks -__- ; that means ... I CAN'T WIGGLE MY NOSE ! Which is what I constantly do (: haha so buhbye 3 day old nose piercing !

Here's a couple pics of my newly nose with a third hole (;
(BTW: I flipped the last pic .)

UGHHHHH ! STUPID TECHNOLOGY !

I'm so mad ... for the 7th time , Cellphones have failed me . I mean I've got my phone stolen , I've lost my phones , I've "accidentally" dropped it in a major body mass of water such as a lake or ocean , NOW my ghetto phone failed me . It blocked like total access to and from my phone ! And the at&t people lied to me , ughh ; GAYYYY !
still the number's still the same , when I get a neww one .
so I need your number cause my phone lost it (:


so get at me !

Kent Cornucopia Days & A Month already .

Kent Cornucopia Days 071009

Today , was fun . I went with Shanyce . I saw so much people ! Like my gayass kuyas Jon & Mark , Jeremi & Ben , Maria , Sesira & Angela , Rykell & Joshy , Kuya Steven , Sanrda & her sis & bro , Nikki , Morris , Jomar , Roanne & Michelle , Martinez , Arminder , Terez , PJ , Karlie , Tanveen & Lilo , Atehh Mailan , Kuya EJ , Baby EJ , Christian & Jerome & Gerard ! So sad I didn't see Atehh Apryll Priscilla , Andrew , Aeisha , & Chiva ! But it was okay , for like 6 hours me & Shanyce were just going around . But mann , everyone seemed to be in a bad mood or just stressing & on the lookout . UGH ! LIKE FOR EXAMPLE MY KUYAS ! STUPID ! UGH , like so me & shanyce were all walkinggg , and like Mark & Jon were all hiding their faces & like ran past me & kept saying my name , & so they decided to hide behind Lamas . and yell my name . & I just kept ignoring the beezys . And then ofcourse they ran after me & then they kept asking me where my pants were ? And then freakinn Mark was taking off his jeans & he was seriously about to give them to me . MY GOD . but the thing that pissed me off was when John took my CELL ! GOTDAMNN ! but everything got better when Babycakes came to see me (: But ehh , im done ranting . haha .

buhbyeee(;

a bit out there ..

Sorry , I haven't been on blogging for a while . I miss blogging all the time . Well , I've recently been in the hospital , in & out . I've been feeling light headed all the time , feeling pressure all around , throwing up my guts , all my limbs have been week , I could barely walk , I've been gasping for air now & then , here & there I've been passing out , everything in my body has been in pain through countless nights . And it's like I don't even know . Dear god , I hate this -__- But I'm so glad that ang baby ko has been there for me through out it all . Everything that has been happening is not at all nice .. But ang baby ko makes everything Amazing .

OheyyHayyy ;

Well Well Well ; I feel like I haven't blogged for a while . So here it iss (; I'm tired . & I NEED to relax . The ironic thing is , is that My mommy dearest & my cousin are gone getting massages while I'm on a computer complaining . EHH ! But ohh well ohh well . I'm freakinn bored ... I just keep replaying toot my shit in my head over & over again .
GOD
Someone save me ?

August 29 , 1958 - June 25 , 2009

MAN WTF ! Michael Jackson died today . A freakin pop LEGEND . He didn't influence or have a huge impact on the Pop culture , he INVENTED it , He has been an inspiration to many ! He is an icon in music & dance . He died at 50 . Shoot , in those 50 years of his life , he has managed to sell billions of hits ! He has been an idol to me ever since I heard the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause"-Jackson 5 . I swear , nothing would be the same as it is now , if it weren't for him . Just wanna let you know ... We will always love you & remember you Michael Jackson !

Ehh ..

The Last day of school .
I thought it would be the best .. Or at least okay . Shitt , I was helluh wrong .
FML: 3 reasons .


1). I trust you . But you're at a party right now , and I went home cause I didn't feel good so I fell asleep . Everyone's been calling my cell off the hook , asking me to go chill & party & shit . Then I get a call from you / you're homeboy . I woke up confused & then I hear you on the phone , I thought you were laughing , then you're homeboy came on the phone , and told me you were drunk .. He assured me that you didn't do anything , you're just drunk , and you were crying , he wanted me to calm you down . You were too hysterical (in the bad sense) It sounded as if you were balling , I couldn't even understand what you were saying . All I heard was: "I'm so fucked up , I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I'm so fucking messed up , I'm so fucked up ." and then I could hear people yelling your name , telling you to go over there , to calm down .. It was chaos , then the phone hung up . That call broke me . My gut , Like in my letter to you today , could be right .. I was supposed to calm you down , & I couldn't even do that . I don't know what to think , but that phone call made it sound like you were in pain . It made me break . I've been praying for you ever since I got that call , right now I am on my 183rd Our father ; and my 182nd Hail Mary . I have been praying non stop ever since the call . I don't know what to do . I don't know what to think , I won't be okay until we talk tonight . Dear God . Help me .

2). Stupid Drama started yesterday ! WTF . I hate it when people don't come up to your face & tell you straight up whatsgood . And hate it when a certain someone was around when you & your homegirl were talking about a whole other thing that was never about that certain some , makes it a big deal & about them . And makes up shit to go along with it too . And then when you're bouts to confront them , they runaway & they don't even try to come up to your face & tell you straight up . Also , how before they get their story straight , they go off & tell other people shit , and they start to hate you or think different of you , when you didn't even do no shit . This is the end of the year , honestly is this how you want to finish it off ? What kind of name are you making for yourself huh ? What are you trying to prove ? Honestly , I really don't like you , but I respect you , but you know what ? You're actions are making my respect for you really thin .

3). WTF ; You know what ? I thought that everything was all good except for the whole other drama (1) I thought that was the most of all my worries . I was wrong . People are telling me I shouldn't care . I really shouldn't because I got the person I really do love . But FUCK mann . Wouldn't you be pissed if you found out JUST NOW , that the person that you trusted , the person that you had special moments & shit with , the person that you were there for , the person that you truly loved no matter what , and stood up for no matter what: pretty much fuckin cheated on me when we were together . 2 DAYS before we broke up .. WTF . I fucking cared about you , even throughout the times you treated me like shit , I was there , supporting you . In your time of need I was there , When people looked down on you , I stood up for you . When I was over the top pissed at you , I calmed myself down & put a smile on . You fucking lied to me . You told me you loved me , LIE . You told me that you've only cheated on a girl once and you would never do it again , especially with me . You told me things that you've never told anyone , I've told you things that I've never told anyone . You fuckin trick . What the Hell is your problem ?! Don't you know how to fuckin treat a girl ? HUH ? Girl's aren't some pieces of meet that you can throw away & recycle . We're human beings with fuckin feelings , I don't even think you're human . You're fucking HEARTLESS funny thing , you won't see this . You're such a pussy too , you run away from your problems . You act helluh hard & shit too . You fucking treat me like a hoe . No wonder why helluh people think I am one . When I'M NOT . Fuck you . Go fuck yourself . You've been there for me throughout all my relationships , you've seen first hand how much pain I went through , how when I was played / cheated on / screwed over , I was hurt , and you promised you would never do that . I thought I could trust you , I thought that you were a good person . Well now all your fucked up insides are exposed . And I can assure you , no one that knows you , and no one here , will want any of that . You're actions show what you really deserve .. Karma's a bitch . I hope you have fun with your w/e life , without your best friend , without your former lover .

Dearest Daddy Kins

(Song of the Hour: Wetter by Twista)

Can you be my daddy ? Daddy , Can you be my daddy ? Daddy , I need a daddy , daddy . Won't you be my daddy ? Daddy . Yeahh , too bad I alrleady got one (; Even though I hate my BIOLOGICAL father . and there's times I love him . I love my Daddy: babycakes . YEEEH ! I just had cake today too . hahah . and chicken & pancit & longonisa & rice & more cake & more rice & BBQ , yes . I am fat today . Well again . Happy Daddy's day , Daddykins ko (:

Though nothing can ever be perfect , there are just somethings that are meant to be perfect

(VIDEO of the Hour: Ideal Husband ) [no song of the hour]

I was watching this video on metacafe (since the laptops are GHETTO), cause I was just being bored & a weirdo , and it got me thinking , where will I be in a couple more years ? How far will I take this relationship ? How huge will it be ? It also got me thinking about those amazing talks we've had . And it just got me thinking about everything . It also got me thinking about how so many people though approve of us they don't approve of you for me . It gets me mad , when people talk about you . Cause you're really the total opposite of what some people may think / say . You're amazing . I know I've said all of this so many times , and its prolly overly repetitive by now , but in reality , everything I feel cannot be put into words , the words I say , they don't even compare to the true potential of it all . I've decided to make a separate blog for you (Letter's Never Written) . I will still keep this blog updated though .
I hope you enjoy , love (:

I wanna run , smash into you .

(Song of the Hour: Smash Into You - Beyonce)



That's exactly what I feel like doing .

Running full speed no stuttersteps , no tripping on my feet , full on hardcore sprint , straight at you , and smashing into you , landing in your arms , while you are in mine's grasp . I am so glad that we cleared everything up , I'm so happy that we both understand each other so much better , I'm content , I am happy , I don't feel incomplete , or as if something is wrong , I don't feel stress , I am at ease again , I have reached a catharsis state . Babe , you are the epitome of my happiness right now , & "Always and Forever"-Marques Houston . I hope you burn that phone convo we had yesterday in your mind . because that's one thing I don't want to forget . "Each Day Get's Better"-John Legend ; when I'm with you . The love we got doesn't even fade one bit , it just grows bigger . Shoot , I'm so happy . I'm so AHH ! (:
Can't stop smilingg man . I can't wait for later on today . 15 hours till I get to see you .! Yes , and then after that , 6 hours together ; Finally ! rigght ?(:
I needa get back to Romeo & Juliet , hahah . So let's end with some Romeo And Juliet ; Since I have to memorize this shitt .

"With Love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls; For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do, that dares love attempt."-Romeo

-Basically it means: No obstacle , no boundary , etc. can stymied my love from you . And it is absolutely true . Nothing can keep my love from getting to you .
I love you <3

Moods .

Mood: Am I really worth something ? Was I ever ?

Don't you ever have the feeling ..

That maybe something's just not right ? You think everything's okay , it's all good , But then again you just have this feeling , like something's missing , something's out of the ordinary . I don't know about you , but I don't like this feeling . I HATE it . It's wayy more worse than that migraine I had yesterday . I don't know what to think / do . What the Hell is wrong with me ? This shitt is eating me alive . I wish I could rewind time to before I felt like this , when I was so happy no worries . I don't know what to do . I feel like everything is crashing on me , Finals , People , People moving away , Not being able to see the one I love , The tension between us , Wrapping up the year , Next year preparations .. Why is it that everything IS crashing down on me ? I hate this . Dear god .
I hope I'm just fuccking PMSing ..

If you're in . I'm in .

The title explains itself . There have been struggles , yes I know . Hopefully we cleared everything up . And you know , everyone fuccks up , everyone slips . You're not the worst . I promise you that , I've been hurt so many times , in ways I didn't even know existed . And Imma be honest , what you told me did hurt alot , I felt like breaking down all over again , but trust me , the pain doesn't even get near the comparison of those past pains . But you know what ? I work on a second chance basis . And you know what else ? We both made promises . I made my promise clearly & confidently . I promise you that , no matter what , I'd be here for you , I won't leave you all out there like that . Even if it hurts me , I will stay by your side . And you know what else ? I'm gunna stick to that promise . Because I don't break my promises , I've learned from that . And you know what else ? When I promised that , I promised that I would be patient , no matter how much I didn't want to be , I would be . And I told you so many times , all I need to know is that you love me , that's it , truly honestly love me , and I would be content no matter what . But now you promise me , that you will learn from your mistakes , just like everyone else should . It's going to take a while , yes , but I will be patient . Do you really want to keep what we got ? Are you ready to sacrifice ? Imma ask you the same exact thing you asked me: "Are you ready ? Are you sure you're ready to be committed ? Are you really looking to settle down . Cause honestly that's what I want ." I confessed that I am ready , no doubt about it . Now it's up to you , and I'm gunna ask this again: Do you really want to keep what we got ? I love you so much .

I'm in , are you ?

FML .

...

I'm Sorry ;

One minute away from 11:11 .

Please excuse the last post .
Everything's all good now I hope .

.

Once you start , you gotta keep going till you finish ..

Wow .. I can't stop crying , and I guess imma try to stop by blogging . I have no one to talk to at the moment , so I guess I'll talk to my blog . I can't stop crying , and earlier I said I don't even know why I would be crying cause I'm kinda used to this shit .. but then I realized , yeah I do know why , because I honestly do care because honestly I do love him , yaknow ? But yeah , so I thought today was gunna be okay , besides the fact of Haila mistaking an alcoholic beverage for juice & me and her getting tipsy the whole entire day . And then I get a text from him , saying he's coming to visit me today , I was happy no doubt , but then again , I looked like shitt today , and I just got done doing the pacer , so I'm like at my worst , especially in the looks department . And I'm like hellluh self conscious around him , you have no clue , and then so I wait after school in the front for him , and Mandy's their so she joins me , and then we wait . And then Kuya Jon comes , and waits too , and like I wait ; and then so Mandy & Jon grab my phone while I'm talking to Tevin , and they call him , and I guess Mandy & him started on the wrong foot , and BLAHH . So then he came and it was all ehh , he was all mad , so I didn't want to like bother him , cause I don't like it when he's mad . And then he kinda had an attitude with me , but I understand why , the whole Mandy thing , and so I left , cause I felt bad & kind of unwanted there , I went & got my spray from Anna , and I didn't want to go back , so I just decide to sit outside & just wait & sit there for a while . And then he comes , and apologizes , and everything was cooo . After that everything was great , besides how I looked . And then I went & left ; went to Choir Pracc; then went home , everything was all good , besides my laptop beingg fuccked up , so then I called him , and everything was okay . Then idk what happened but then it lead to this little argument , and he apologized and all , but I was like about to cry so I just didn't say anything or else I might've like balled , and then it lead to voices being raised , & I guess yelling .. and ughh ; And all I thought in my head was: "shit .. I thought it would be different this time , he promised me he wouldn't do this .. and yet he just yells like all the others , and treats me as if I'm just some girl ..." And I just kept thinking that , and then he topped it off with saying that I don't care .. that just fucckin hurts . Cause I do care . ALOT . If I didn't I wouldn't be with him , I wouldn't be friends with Haila . shitt ; it's like saying: Ohh you don't love me. Just like all the other guys . UGHH I hope not . But I'm prolly just PMS-ing .. And now I'm crying & I can't stop . Cause once I start crying .. I can't stop till I cry myself to sleep .

P.S.: I Love You (UPDATE)

This is an update on a former blog "P.S: I Love You" Here is an update on instead of the people I trust with my life , this is for the people I am loving to death right now at this very moment in time ! And this time they have names instead of numbers ;

1). Haila Monique S. Ignacio (bestfrannn you smell like soup)

This girl ; I swear , I wanna slap her all the time (: I love you so much , talagang talagang kapatid ko . You truly are like my sister , I swear we were separated at birth . Hahah , I'm amazed I put up with you everyday on a regular basis . You're freakinn AMAZING . Hahah , me & you are just way too crazy . You are really a true friend . You're not fake at all . It amazes me . There are barely anymore of you out there . You are truly one of a kind . You're the only thing that can actually make me happy when I'm depressed . There's never a dull moment with you . Even online (ohh wait that sounded bad !) We have this weird thing , it's like what ever comes out of our mouths is like sensual in a way (see right thurrr) haha we're such queers , all the time though , I swear . Hahah , Mann if I ever lost a friend like you I'd freakinn kill myself . I honestly would , or I would die of boredom teehee ; MaggarPho . You bring out the worst in people I swear , hahah but I still got a whole lot of love for yahhh HOE (: That's all for now ," MANN ! I love you in a non sensual insest kinda way"

2). Eldrick Jordan Guibani S (babycakes06102k9<3)

Well Babycakes , Sugarpie , Hunneybuns ; I love you , with all my heart . I 've had such a hard time giving my heart up to ANYONE ; I was so traumatized , and paranoid , I didn't trust any guy , I didn't give any of them a chance . But babe , you have done the impossible ; you've managed to let me open up to you , to give you not just part of my heart or put some space on reserve or rent , but to give you the whole thing , to give you a chance , to trust you , to understand you , to love you . I honestly thought that we would never get together , isn't that funny ? Who would've thought that we would get here ? That we would get this far ? God works in mysterious ways , And like I said before , I swear he's spoiling me , cause I honestly don't deserve you . You're the only guy that has ever made me this happy , You're the only guy that I really would kill to be with / see . You're the only guy that has ever treated me like this , You're the only guy that has acted themselves with me . You're the only guy that has really truly given me their heart . And I promise you that I will love that heart as much as I love you .(:

3). Jonathon Ray D Castro (Long Lost Cousin)

Hello cousin ko . Well can you believe it ? We're cousins ! You have a cousin at KM ! You know , I was planning to go to KM on my sophomore year , but I COULD NOT handle a three weeks of KL , let alone a whole gotdamnn YEAR ! so When I went to KM I wasn't expecting alot of people to freak (yet they did) I wasn't expecting to find a cousin either , well yes , I know you remember that day we realized we were cousins real well (; hahah . GAHH , anywhoo , Mann , loved those adventures we had , after Nikki left the 3 musketeers , it became Me , You & Mark ! hahah that was the SHITT mann . And then his punkass had to dropp , and then it was just me & you , & then HAILA ! came along and we became the 3 Mu-Skeeters , until ya'll had to go loveydovey , haha but its all good . Lately we've been fighting , but I still wanna let you know that , I love you no matter what , I trust you with my life . I can tell you shitt & I know you won't tell a soul . You're fam , & I'm grateful that I met you this year . I can't wait for the upcoming adventures we'll have ! Please don't be a dickhead . Love you Kuya jay !(:

I just wanted to let you know that ..

.

I love you: Ohh so much .

06102k9<3

Temporary ;

.

Unlike my Love for You (;

06102k9<3

This is the Music for Love

"You're there for me, through all of my ups and downs
And what I feel you always seem to know
You find the words, when I need comforting
And dry my eyes, that's why I love you so
More than a friend you're my first love
I can always depend on my first love
I feel like I have known you all my life
I can't explain how close we are
When something's wrong, you know how to make it right
That's why you stay close to my heart
You are more than a friend you're my first love
I can always depend on my first love"

"I feel like I just seen the sun for the first time
You make my life bright cuz you shine
It's me and you baby, it's our time
I'm living my dream, girl cuz you mine
You got me skippin down the street
And singin love songs all out of key
I didn't smoke nothin but I feel so high, and I know why
It's a love thing, it's got to be
Your heart's all locked and I got the key
It feels like I just won the lottery
Cuz I got my girl and she got me
You my new obsession, all I want to do
You my new obsession, girl
I feel on top of the world wit you baby
I want to dance and party tonight
I feel on top of the world wit my lady
I'm gonna rock your body all night
You makes me wanna sing:
La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; "

"On rainy day you brighten up my sky.
And it was cold outside, you made me feel so warm inside.
You are the answer to a prayer I prayed so long ago.
Baby here's exactly what I spoke;
'Four, five, went up to her thighs."
With my name written on her heart, I show brightly like the stars.
She would tell no lie, straight up to her guy.
Know everything I like, still something just aint right.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) I'm telling you this to good to be true
(But you're too perfect for me) To have a perfect girl like you
(Girl you're too perfect for me) Oh baby this is too good to be true.
(But you're too perfect for me) And then I found a perfect girl like you.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) Never trip about me working late at night.
And I can't remember when we ever had a fight.
You never tried to push up on my friends (No)
And everything begins the same way it ends.
No one has ever made me feel this way before, nah.
You give me everything, I couldn't ask for more.
Not just stating how I'm feeling, I'm not saying I want to let you go.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) I just want you to know, oh oh.
Girl you're too perfect for me, But you're too perfect for me.
Girl you're too perfect for me, But you're too perfect for me.
Girl you're too perfect for me "

"Did you know that everyday is so much more amazing
Waking up right next to you it feels like im daydreamin
Never thought that, i could ever,
Love somebody the way that i love you
We've had our days of fightin breakin up and leaving
But you'd always make it right, your smile made my heart begin
Heres your smell to it, right into your head and dont ever trade it
Baby i believe that we gon make it
Im so proud to say that you are my first love
When we together baby know that your the only one
When you get next to me and hold me closly, I know you love me
You make my story complete
Im so happy that i got you here to hold me down
I'll never break your heart, aint going straight no way no how
Treasure for my beloved, never betrayed trust, always thinkin bout us
Baby im forever in love
It feels so crazy when you wrap your arms around me
I place my ear against your chest, and hear your heart beat
Take good care of me, and show the reason
That i still believe our fairytale has just begun
If were in a movie then dont nobody say cut
If i could be dreamin then let me sleep forever
Your so lovely and sweet like honey
There aint nothin that can chase away this feelin
Im so proud to say that you are my first love
When we together baby know that your the only one
When you get next to me and hold me closly, I know you love me
You make my story complete
Im so happy that i got you here to hold me down
I'll never break your heart, aint going straight no way no how
Treasure for my beloved, never betrayed trust, always thinkin bout us
Baby im forever in love. "

Growing up ? Graduations coming !

(Song of the Hour: Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C ; I Will Remember You by Lil Crazed )

GRADUATION .

Well ... I just came back from KMHS' 2009 Graduation . I had to go play in the orchestra FOREVER ! & then I had to go change into a robe & run to go sing with the choir ; other than that , I liked it , I was like crying though I swear , hahah Atehh Apryll ; Kuya Steven ; Kuya CJ ; Kuya Phillip ; Atehh Jennivha ; MANN I am gunna miss them especially , UGHH I was crying , haha & then before I was crying people thought I was crying because of my retarded eye . Ohh and then before that I went to the Dentist , & he thought I was retarded because I couldn't open my eyes . Ohh And then at Graduation (this ruined the whole thing) Delorian was there & so was whats his face (well I knew he was there because he was gunna sing & the choir too) anywhoo , freakinn perve touched me , UGH ; thinks he's slick , anywhoo . Everyone took hellluh pics & videos of me when I wasn't fcckn paying attention . UGHH ! Then we were in the bus , & omg I was sitting with Angelo , that freak , & we saw a hobo sleeping by the train tracks, & then he yelled out WAKE UP ! goshhh everyone in the buss died , hahah then I shared this Asian rice thingy that atehh Kerlin gave to me , with him . then we went back to KM , and to McDonalds , & it was great . Other than that , today I was so selosa , I'm not gunna say why , but I was . And I was sad too , because the SENIORSS ! ): I'm gunna miss them so much , just think in 3 more years , that's gunna be me . UGH I don't want that day to come ): I love you guys mann ! Don't forget your little adingg sissypoop !):

Here Are Some Pics From today ;

Will you help me write this love letter ? UNDERCONSTRUCTION

(Song of the Hour: Stay Up by George Nazuka ; Too Perfect 4 Me by ATL ; Never Let You Go by Andrey Silva ; Smash Into You by Beyonce ; First Love by Karina Pasian ; Halo by Beyonce ; My First Love by Tynisha Keli & Passion ; etc. )

Dear Love ,

Well , I don't even know where to start . But , let's start with this: I love you . I know I've said it so many times , but honestly I do . Like I said before , My feelings for you are unexplainable , I've never felt like this , I've never been this happy , and I'm loving every moment of it .I love being with you , you're so amazing . I love everything about you , I don't deserve to be with you , & God is really spoiling me by blessing me with the gift of you . You are truly my first love , And like I said before , it is so early to even say the word love , but you truly are my first , and I am too (: Ever since I realized that , everything's changed , my outlooks & perspectives , it's like a huge drastic sudden change , Before I didn't believe in love , I thought it was a myth , I never ever thought that I would live the day to see love , to feel love , to be in love let alone find it . And look now ?! I know we're still helluh young , but all this is possible , and I don't think it is , I believe it is . I can't imagine leaving you even for the craziest reason ever made . Cause I'm deep into the ocean now . Now that I've been exposed to this new feeling , this new Life , I don't know how the opposite of this would be , I don't think I can bare it . And yes , I am ready to settle down , BIG TIME , for you . And only you . I promise you I will not leave you , because I can't imagine turning down a blessing from God .
I Love You , so much .

An About me About you .

(Song of the Hour: What I Like About You by the Romantics)


WOW ; I don't even know where to start . Well , let's start with this: I love everything about you , please don't ever change . Everything you do is so sweet & cute . You care so much about not only me , but other people as well , you keep your head up in situations , and I am so amazed , you have no idea: I swear ; Just like the song , Too Perfect 4 Me , you are too perfect ; I don't deserve to be with you , & god is really spoiling me by blessing me with the gift of you . I feel like I've known you for so long (I kinda have known you for a year , but yanawmsayinggg hahah .) ; I feel like We're way passed a year . I know this is just the beginning , but I know we'll make it far . You're such a cutie (: You're so kind hearted & caring , & such a good listener , even though you are impatient . You eat alot -__- , hahah , you're a fun guy to be around , You're unique , you can relate to me , vise versa . You're understanding , and you're someone that wants everyone to be happy (like mee !) I swear , you are way more than what I asked for scratch that , Pray for . I don't know how Serendipitous I am , for stumbling upon something like you . But you know what , I don't care , because I'm so grateful I have . Overall you're amazing . I don't even know , YOU don't even know . You got me saying I love you all the time , you got me thinking about you all the time , It's so hard to concentrate on something without the thought of you coming up in my mind . Hahah ; sometimes I wanna scream get out so I can concentrate , But I swear I love your company too much . Hahahh ; be grateful I love you (;

Well Today , was great , Idk about youu .

Today was , AHHH ! Freakinn great I swearr . He came by to Chill (:
The Highlights ?:

• He met some of the homaysss & they approved ? hahah ;
• What's his face saw us together (feel bad about this one tho) ;
• PHO ! hahah ;
• In the gym near the locker rooms (;
• Chillennnnn outside ;
• Walking around ;
• Nature Walk
• Getting to chill with ading Abby-kins ;
• Seeing my breastpriend Marionn ;
• And I getting to see him(EJG0610k9) ,
• I got to spend time with him ,
• I got to hold his hand ,
• I got to be in his arms ,
• I got to kiss him ,
• I got to look at him ,
• I got to feel him ,
• I got to be near him ,
• I got to be myself with him ,
• I got to love him (:

An Overall Greatassss Day (:

Here's some pics:

There's never a right time to: Say Goodbye .

(Song of the Hour: Found a New Love by Bryn Christopher ; Goodbye by Ahmir or Lyfe Jennings ; Strong by Jordyn Taylor )
Mood: Bored in Science .
More than one Song of the Hour , for this is a special occasion (;

Finally , those feelings I have for you are over & gone , out the door . I still love you so much & care about you , because honestly , if you truly love someone , you can never stop loving them . You were there for me somehow some way throughout all my fuccked up relationships ; Even after we go through hard times , we manage to stay helluh tigght ; And of course I am gunna miss those times we've had , those times we shared ; you know you will too . You're way too obvious , but you were also too scared , it's too late now . Kind of like in the movie Best Friends Wedding(1997), there was a quote there ,"Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just ... Passes you by..." All those chances , all those moments have just passed you by for the last time . I'm done waiting , Now I realized I wasted my time ; Now I realize who really does care , and he makes me the happiest I have ever been . And treats me like I have never been treated . If this makes you act all hard & cocky , it shows how much you care , how much of a dickhead you are & how immature you really are . I'm so happy that now I'm not wasting my time , I'm using it to my advantage & for my benefit ; I still got love for you , but not in that way my dear (;

FYL (instead of FML !)
YEEEEEH !

no more no more no more ; wait scratch that , more more more: love !

I can finally say I'm happy . Besides a little greezybeezy talking head ; it's all good . Today is a special day , for 2 reasons : One , today is me & wiffey's 5th year anniversary (061004) lalalalabbyouuHOE && I got to see her today & my sissaypoop Tracey & Mary , it was bombb ; And 2 , today is the beginnning to a novel called love of me & babycakes (061009); Ohyeeeeeeh ; And again I can finally say that I am truly happy & loved . I love you mann ; UGHH ; both of y'all . I'm just so speechless right now ! baby's got my tongue ; (literally) HAHHAHA SIKEE ; But maynnn ; Today was wow ..

That's all I'm gunna say (;

Excited like a kid with a new Kids Meal toy . But bored like a biznatchh .

(Song of the Hour: I'm So Excited by Pointer Sisters)



I cannot wait for Friday ; hahah ! I get to see my babycakess . Ohyeahh ; I really can't wait I am so excited . But mannnn ; imma have to keep those girls away from him (cough*AMAYA*cough) Shoots mann , they might rape him when I'm not looking . hahah , im gunna freaking cry ! Hahahah ; I can't wait , you have NO IDEA !! WOOH !



Haha besides that , I'm bored in science , my phone isn't really working all that great so I can't text , I have no clue wthell we're learning about: I jist don't get it . I really wanna go dance right now , like , danceee ; I'm kinda random right now , soo uhmm OHH I have a joke .. How do you make Lady Gaga cry ? You POKE-HER face ! hahah , skittless mann , not skillls , skittles . Sometimes I wonder which was made first or who was biting off who ? Skittles vs. M&M's . one's chocolate & ones fruity (hahah fruity). ewwwy guyy ; I just looked down at my leg & hahah , like how haila has restless leg syndrome ? I think I have ADD , I cannot , CANNOT , ever keep still , unless I'm totally out of it . hahah I'm scared , it's like I have touretts or something . haha that reminds me of how Khalil used to say Sesira had touretts all the timee , & I decided to call her that , Ohh yeahh we used to call her Mufffin F___r or Muffin rider , which reminds me of Haila's muffin story !! Here it goes



-What would you like for breakfast Donny?

Donny: Muffinsssssss

Thats right.

At Cunningham Muffins, we know that muffins make the best breakfast.

So why not try all of our exciting new flavas.

Rasberry.

Cranberry.

Apples.

Cinnamon.

Pecan.

Pumpkin.

Nut.

Date Nut.

Lemon Poppy Seed muffin.

BANANA.

Orange.

Peach.

Strawberry.

Blueberry.

Bosionberry.

Almond.

CHOCO-CHOCO CHIP.

Carrot.

GOOSEberryPumpernickle.

Fish.

Paperclip.

Ink.

Bird.

Shampoo.

Starwars muffin.

Bullfrog.

Crickets.

Cigarette.

(coughs)Isreali-Palistinian conflict muffins.

Bits of glass muffin.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh.Absestos.

IM BAKING MUFFINS AS BEST AS I CAN HAHAHAHAHAH.

MONKEY!

Algero muffin.

Elephant.

Pencil.

Newspaper.

FIRE!!!

Imaaaaaaginary muffin.

Cartoon muffin!

Blood.

What muffin would you like for breakfast Donny?

Donny: I lost my appetite.

You'll eat a muffin, you'll eat it and like it.

So try all of our delicious Cunningham Muffins, at Cunningham Muffins!



Best poem EVER ; ahha another story by Haila I would like to share with the world wide international online web is her story about a certain man

-There once was a man who lived in bandoo

Who fell asleep in a canoue

He dreamed of venus

While play with his _____

and woke up with a hand full of GOO !



Hahha I feel that I should go on with filipino jokes , that's how bored I amm (; And that's what I'm gunna doo foo !

(for these jokes say it in a filipino accent)

-Use "penis" in a sentence: Don't porget to penis your homework

-Use "dinuguan" in a sentence: I try to turn on da T-B but it dinuguan !

-Use "Uno dos tre" in a sentence: UNO ! Dos tres are BURNING !!

-Use "associate" in a sentence: I went to the bathroom and associate in de toilet

-Use "bitch" in a sentence: Let's go to da bitch tooday , becos it is hot .

-Use "paul" 4 times in a sentence: Paul ! Becare-paul you might paul , in the swimming paul !

-Use "tenacious" in a sentence: Don't porget to put on your tenacious bepor you go outside .

-Use "persuading" in a sentence: My persuading anibersary was yesterday .

-Use "deletion" in a sentence: The skin of deletion is crispy !

-Use "deposit" in a sentence: I went to go wash my hands but deposit was clogged -__-.

-(add more later)



These other ones you might have to think .

-What is an ugly cow ? E-COW !

-What is the sound made when a dog hits the wall ? DOOG !

-(add more later)



EXIT + LETTER= Different Meaning .

ANG EXIT NA SALITA AY MAY IBANG KAHULUGAN PALA
B+EXIT=BEXIT-upuan sa likod
C+EXIT=CEXIT-suck it
D+EXIT=DEXIT-That’s it
F+EXIT=FEXIT-fix it or fax it
G+EXIT=GEXIT-maghanda sa tagalog
H+EXIT=HEXIT-has it
J+EXIT=JEXIT-just eat
K+EXIT=KEXIT-kiss it or casing
L+EXIT=LEXIT-lacks it or leaks it
M+EXIT=MEXIT-max it or mix it
N+EXIT=NEXIT-knocks it
P+EXIT=PEXIT-pay it or peksman
Q+EXIT=QEXIT-quickset
R+EXIT=REXIT-recite in bisaya or receipt
S+EXIT=SEXIT-sexy
T+EXIT=taxi or tacit (implied but not expressed)
V+EXIT=VEXIT-vaccine in Filipino bakuna
W+EXIT=WEXIT-wax it or weight it
X+EXIT=XEXIT-buntisin mo
Y+EXIT=YEXIT-”yes, sit”
Z+EXIT=ZEXIT-jock sit

(add more later)



It's almost time to go , so I willll BE GONE !

yeeeeeeh ;D

I don't know what to do ..

(Song of the Hour: We Might as Well be Strangers by Keane)



When you really care for someone , you do all you can to protect them . You do all you can to make sure they're safe , forever & always . But reality is , you can't . You can't always be there to pick up someone when ever they fall . You're only there to brush them off & ask if they're okay , you can't really do anything about it . It fucking sucks .. it really does . Today , 3 people I care about greatly told me some bullshitt . Honestly , I thought today was gunna be cool , until I found this shitt out . One of them just broke a like month or so of soberness , but I trust her , that she won't take it far , so I'm not as mad about that . But I'm not gunna say what one of the other two did because HE reads my blog .. Now for the second guy , I guess he could care less about me , so he would have no way of reading this blog of mine . Fuccking telling me "not to tell anyone" and that "it's good" WTF MANN UGHH ; Just found out he fuccking smokes . Doesn't he know HOW MUCH I CARE FOR HIM ?! He's prolly to fuccking high to even know what he's talking about or telling me . He doesn't know how much this hurts the people around him & ME . If he's fuccking joking about this , then that's just greez , he of all people should know the reason for that . Ever since he started chillen with them certain people he's changed so much , fucciking got cockier or something , he changed for the worst , he's still a freshmen , mann , yet he's tryna act like them people , GAHHD I miss the old him , the real him , I don't even know anymore . And then the other guy I was talking about ! UGHH ; wthell man . I thought he quit shitt , I guess not . And all this other shitt that he's doing is fuccking pissing me off . We never ever fought like this , lately we've been fighting like fuccking Many Pacquiao & Oscar de la Hoya . We've been getting on each other's case lately , I forgave him for last time's shitt , so today we were cool again , and then we started fighting & getting each other helluh pissed off again , we never used to fight .. wtfs happened .. If they read this , they would've prolly been like I'm over reacting too much or some BS ; but honestly , I've lost family & friends , because of all the stupid shitt that they do . I lost the people I cared so much about & looked up to & loved , because of that shitt , And the only reason why I'm fuccking crying over this bullshitt , is cause I care so much about them . I don't want them to get hurt , I don't want them to be sad , mad , angry , depressed w/e . I want them to be safe & happy . And if they don't care about me at all the same way I care about them , then w/e , I'll be fine as long as I know they're safe .

It makes me wonder , Do they even think thoroughly about everything before they do shitt ?

UGHHH