OheyyHayyy ;

Well Well Well ; I feel like I haven't blogged for a while . So here it iss (; I'm tired . & I NEED to relax . The ironic thing is , is that My mommy dearest & my cousin are gone getting massages while I'm on a computer complaining . EHH ! But ohh well ohh well . I'm freakinn bored ... I just keep replaying toot my shit in my head over & over again .
GOD
Someone save me ?

August 29 , 1958 - June 25 , 2009

MAN WTF ! Michael Jackson died today . A freakin pop LEGEND . He didn't influence or have a huge impact on the Pop culture , he INVENTED it , He has been an inspiration to many ! He is an icon in music & dance . He died at 50 . Shoot , in those 50 years of his life , he has managed to sell billions of hits ! He has been an idol to me ever since I heard the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause"-Jackson 5 . I swear , nothing would be the same as it is now , if it weren't for him . Just wanna let you know ... We will always love you & remember you Michael Jackson !

Ehh ..

The Last day of school .
I thought it would be the best .. Or at least okay . Shitt , I was helluh wrong .
FML: 3 reasons .


1). I trust you . But you're at a party right now , and I went home cause I didn't feel good so I fell asleep . Everyone's been calling my cell off the hook , asking me to go chill & party & shit . Then I get a call from you / you're homeboy . I woke up confused & then I hear you on the phone , I thought you were laughing , then you're homeboy came on the phone , and told me you were drunk .. He assured me that you didn't do anything , you're just drunk , and you were crying , he wanted me to calm you down . You were too hysterical (in the bad sense) It sounded as if you were balling , I couldn't even understand what you were saying . All I heard was: "I'm so fucked up , I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I'm so fucking messed up , I'm so fucked up ." and then I could hear people yelling your name , telling you to go over there , to calm down .. It was chaos , then the phone hung up . That call broke me . My gut , Like in my letter to you today , could be right .. I was supposed to calm you down , & I couldn't even do that . I don't know what to think , but that phone call made it sound like you were in pain . It made me break . I've been praying for you ever since I got that call , right now I am on my 183rd Our father ; and my 182nd Hail Mary . I have been praying non stop ever since the call . I don't know what to do . I don't know what to think , I won't be okay until we talk tonight . Dear God . Help me .

2). Stupid Drama started yesterday ! WTF . I hate it when people don't come up to your face & tell you straight up whatsgood . And hate it when a certain someone was around when you & your homegirl were talking about a whole other thing that was never about that certain some , makes it a big deal & about them . And makes up shit to go along with it too . And then when you're bouts to confront them , they runaway & they don't even try to come up to your face & tell you straight up . Also , how before they get their story straight , they go off & tell other people shit , and they start to hate you or think different of you , when you didn't even do no shit . This is the end of the year , honestly is this how you want to finish it off ? What kind of name are you making for yourself huh ? What are you trying to prove ? Honestly , I really don't like you , but I respect you , but you know what ? You're actions are making my respect for you really thin .

3). WTF ; You know what ? I thought that everything was all good except for the whole other drama (1) I thought that was the most of all my worries . I was wrong . People are telling me I shouldn't care . I really shouldn't because I got the person I really do love . But FUCK mann . Wouldn't you be pissed if you found out JUST NOW , that the person that you trusted , the person that you had special moments & shit with , the person that you were there for , the person that you truly loved no matter what , and stood up for no matter what: pretty much fuckin cheated on me when we were together . 2 DAYS before we broke up .. WTF . I fucking cared about you , even throughout the times you treated me like shit , I was there , supporting you . In your time of need I was there , When people looked down on you , I stood up for you . When I was over the top pissed at you , I calmed myself down & put a smile on . You fucking lied to me . You told me you loved me , LIE . You told me that you've only cheated on a girl once and you would never do it again , especially with me . You told me things that you've never told anyone , I've told you things that I've never told anyone . You fuckin trick . What the Hell is your problem ?! Don't you know how to fuckin treat a girl ? HUH ? Girl's aren't some pieces of meet that you can throw away & recycle . We're human beings with fuckin feelings , I don't even think you're human . You're fucking HEARTLESS funny thing , you won't see this . You're such a pussy too , you run away from your problems . You act helluh hard & shit too . You fucking treat me like a hoe . No wonder why helluh people think I am one . When I'M NOT . Fuck you . Go fuck yourself . You've been there for me throughout all my relationships , you've seen first hand how much pain I went through , how when I was played / cheated on / screwed over , I was hurt , and you promised you would never do that . I thought I could trust you , I thought that you were a good person . Well now all your fucked up insides are exposed . And I can assure you , no one that knows you , and no one here , will want any of that . You're actions show what you really deserve .. Karma's a bitch . I hope you have fun with your w/e life , without your best friend , without your former lover .

Dearest Daddy Kins

(Song of the Hour: Wetter by Twista)

Can you be my daddy ? Daddy , Can you be my daddy ? Daddy , I need a daddy , daddy . Won't you be my daddy ? Daddy . Yeahh , too bad I alrleady got one (; Even though I hate my BIOLOGICAL father . and there's times I love him . I love my Daddy: babycakes . YEEEH ! I just had cake today too . hahah . and chicken & pancit & longonisa & rice & more cake & more rice & BBQ , yes . I am fat today . Well again . Happy Daddy's day , Daddykins ko (:

Though nothing can ever be perfect , there are just somethings that are meant to be perfect

(VIDEO of the Hour: Ideal Husband ) [no song of the hour]

I was watching this video on metacafe (since the laptops are GHETTO), cause I was just being bored & a weirdo , and it got me thinking , where will I be in a couple more years ? How far will I take this relationship ? How huge will it be ? It also got me thinking about those amazing talks we've had . And it just got me thinking about everything . It also got me thinking about how so many people though approve of us they don't approve of you for me . It gets me mad , when people talk about you . Cause you're really the total opposite of what some people may think / say . You're amazing . I know I've said all of this so many times , and its prolly overly repetitive by now , but in reality , everything I feel cannot be put into words , the words I say , they don't even compare to the true potential of it all . I've decided to make a separate blog for you (Letter's Never Written) . I will still keep this blog updated though .
I hope you enjoy , love (:

I wanna run , smash into you .

(Song of the Hour: Smash Into You - Beyonce)



That's exactly what I feel like doing .

Running full speed no stuttersteps , no tripping on my feet , full on hardcore sprint , straight at you , and smashing into you , landing in your arms , while you are in mine's grasp . I am so glad that we cleared everything up , I'm so happy that we both understand each other so much better , I'm content , I am happy , I don't feel incomplete , or as if something is wrong , I don't feel stress , I am at ease again , I have reached a catharsis state . Babe , you are the epitome of my happiness right now , & "Always and Forever"-Marques Houston . I hope you burn that phone convo we had yesterday in your mind . because that's one thing I don't want to forget . "Each Day Get's Better"-John Legend ; when I'm with you . The love we got doesn't even fade one bit , it just grows bigger . Shoot , I'm so happy . I'm so AHH ! (:
Can't stop smilingg man . I can't wait for later on today . 15 hours till I get to see you .! Yes , and then after that , 6 hours together ; Finally ! rigght ?(:
I needa get back to Romeo & Juliet , hahah . So let's end with some Romeo And Juliet ; Since I have to memorize this shitt .

"With Love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls; For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do, that dares love attempt."-Romeo

-Basically it means: No obstacle , no boundary , etc. can stymied my love from you . And it is absolutely true . Nothing can keep my love from getting to you .
I love you <3

Moods .

Mood: Am I really worth something ? Was I ever ?

Don't you ever have the feeling ..

That maybe something's just not right ? You think everything's okay , it's all good , But then again you just have this feeling , like something's missing , something's out of the ordinary . I don't know about you , but I don't like this feeling . I HATE it . It's wayy more worse than that migraine I had yesterday . I don't know what to think / do . What the Hell is wrong with me ? This shitt is eating me alive . I wish I could rewind time to before I felt like this , when I was so happy no worries . I don't know what to do . I feel like everything is crashing on me , Finals , People , People moving away , Not being able to see the one I love , The tension between us , Wrapping up the year , Next year preparations .. Why is it that everything IS crashing down on me ? I hate this . Dear god .
I hope I'm just fuccking PMSing ..

If you're in . I'm in .

The title explains itself . There have been struggles , yes I know . Hopefully we cleared everything up . And you know , everyone fuccks up , everyone slips . You're not the worst . I promise you that , I've been hurt so many times , in ways I didn't even know existed . And Imma be honest , what you told me did hurt alot , I felt like breaking down all over again , but trust me , the pain doesn't even get near the comparison of those past pains . But you know what ? I work on a second chance basis . And you know what else ? We both made promises . I made my promise clearly & confidently . I promise you that , no matter what , I'd be here for you , I won't leave you all out there like that . Even if it hurts me , I will stay by your side . And you know what else ? I'm gunna stick to that promise . Because I don't break my promises , I've learned from that . And you know what else ? When I promised that , I promised that I would be patient , no matter how much I didn't want to be , I would be . And I told you so many times , all I need to know is that you love me , that's it , truly honestly love me , and I would be content no matter what . But now you promise me , that you will learn from your mistakes , just like everyone else should . It's going to take a while , yes , but I will be patient . Do you really want to keep what we got ? Are you ready to sacrifice ? Imma ask you the same exact thing you asked me: "Are you ready ? Are you sure you're ready to be committed ? Are you really looking to settle down . Cause honestly that's what I want ." I confessed that I am ready , no doubt about it . Now it's up to you , and I'm gunna ask this again: Do you really want to keep what we got ? I love you so much .

I'm in , are you ?

FML .

...

I'm Sorry ;

One minute away from 11:11 .

Please excuse the last post .
Everything's all good now I hope .

.

Once you start , you gotta keep going till you finish ..

Wow .. I can't stop crying , and I guess imma try to stop by blogging . I have no one to talk to at the moment , so I guess I'll talk to my blog . I can't stop crying , and earlier I said I don't even know why I would be crying cause I'm kinda used to this shit .. but then I realized , yeah I do know why , because I honestly do care because honestly I do love him , yaknow ? But yeah , so I thought today was gunna be okay , besides the fact of Haila mistaking an alcoholic beverage for juice & me and her getting tipsy the whole entire day . And then I get a text from him , saying he's coming to visit me today , I was happy no doubt , but then again , I looked like shitt today , and I just got done doing the pacer , so I'm like at my worst , especially in the looks department . And I'm like hellluh self conscious around him , you have no clue , and then so I wait after school in the front for him , and Mandy's their so she joins me , and then we wait . And then Kuya Jon comes , and waits too , and like I wait ; and then so Mandy & Jon grab my phone while I'm talking to Tevin , and they call him , and I guess Mandy & him started on the wrong foot , and BLAHH . So then he came and it was all ehh , he was all mad , so I didn't want to like bother him , cause I don't like it when he's mad . And then he kinda had an attitude with me , but I understand why , the whole Mandy thing , and so I left , cause I felt bad & kind of unwanted there , I went & got my spray from Anna , and I didn't want to go back , so I just decide to sit outside & just wait & sit there for a while . And then he comes , and apologizes , and everything was cooo . After that everything was great , besides how I looked . And then I went & left ; went to Choir Pracc; then went home , everything was all good , besides my laptop beingg fuccked up , so then I called him , and everything was okay . Then idk what happened but then it lead to this little argument , and he apologized and all , but I was like about to cry so I just didn't say anything or else I might've like balled , and then it lead to voices being raised , & I guess yelling .. and ughh ; And all I thought in my head was: "shit .. I thought it would be different this time , he promised me he wouldn't do this .. and yet he just yells like all the others , and treats me as if I'm just some girl ..." And I just kept thinking that , and then he topped it off with saying that I don't care .. that just fucckin hurts . Cause I do care . ALOT . If I didn't I wouldn't be with him , I wouldn't be friends with Haila . shitt ; it's like saying: Ohh you don't love me. Just like all the other guys . UGHH I hope not . But I'm prolly just PMS-ing .. And now I'm crying & I can't stop . Cause once I start crying .. I can't stop till I cry myself to sleep .

P.S.: I Love You (UPDATE)

This is an update on a former blog "P.S: I Love You" Here is an update on instead of the people I trust with my life , this is for the people I am loving to death right now at this very moment in time ! And this time they have names instead of numbers ;

1). Haila Monique S. Ignacio (bestfrannn you smell like soup)

This girl ; I swear , I wanna slap her all the time (: I love you so much , talagang talagang kapatid ko . You truly are like my sister , I swear we were separated at birth . Hahah , I'm amazed I put up with you everyday on a regular basis . You're freakinn AMAZING . Hahah , me & you are just way too crazy . You are really a true friend . You're not fake at all . It amazes me . There are barely anymore of you out there . You are truly one of a kind . You're the only thing that can actually make me happy when I'm depressed . There's never a dull moment with you . Even online (ohh wait that sounded bad !) We have this weird thing , it's like what ever comes out of our mouths is like sensual in a way (see right thurrr) haha we're such queers , all the time though , I swear . Hahah , Mann if I ever lost a friend like you I'd freakinn kill myself . I honestly would , or I would die of boredom teehee ; MaggarPho . You bring out the worst in people I swear , hahah but I still got a whole lot of love for yahhh HOE (: That's all for now ," MANN ! I love you in a non sensual insest kinda way"

2). Eldrick Jordan Guibani S (babycakes06102k9<3)

Well Babycakes , Sugarpie , Hunneybuns ; I love you , with all my heart . I 've had such a hard time giving my heart up to ANYONE ; I was so traumatized , and paranoid , I didn't trust any guy , I didn't give any of them a chance . But babe , you have done the impossible ; you've managed to let me open up to you , to give you not just part of my heart or put some space on reserve or rent , but to give you the whole thing , to give you a chance , to trust you , to understand you , to love you . I honestly thought that we would never get together , isn't that funny ? Who would've thought that we would get here ? That we would get this far ? God works in mysterious ways , And like I said before , I swear he's spoiling me , cause I honestly don't deserve you . You're the only guy that has ever made me this happy , You're the only guy that I really would kill to be with / see . You're the only guy that has ever treated me like this , You're the only guy that has acted themselves with me . You're the only guy that has really truly given me their heart . And I promise you that I will love that heart as much as I love you .(:

3). Jonathon Ray D Castro (Long Lost Cousin)

Hello cousin ko . Well can you believe it ? We're cousins ! You have a cousin at KM ! You know , I was planning to go to KM on my sophomore year , but I COULD NOT handle a three weeks of KL , let alone a whole gotdamnn YEAR ! so When I went to KM I wasn't expecting alot of people to freak (yet they did) I wasn't expecting to find a cousin either , well yes , I know you remember that day we realized we were cousins real well (; hahah . GAHH , anywhoo , Mann , loved those adventures we had , after Nikki left the 3 musketeers , it became Me , You & Mark ! hahah that was the SHITT mann . And then his punkass had to dropp , and then it was just me & you , & then HAILA ! came along and we became the 3 Mu-Skeeters , until ya'll had to go loveydovey , haha but its all good . Lately we've been fighting , but I still wanna let you know that , I love you no matter what , I trust you with my life . I can tell you shitt & I know you won't tell a soul . You're fam , & I'm grateful that I met you this year . I can't wait for the upcoming adventures we'll have ! Please don't be a dickhead . Love you Kuya jay !(:

I just wanted to let you know that ..

.

I love you: Ohh so much .

06102k9<3

Temporary ;

.

Unlike my Love for You (;

06102k9<3

This is the Music for Love

"You're there for me, through all of my ups and downs
And what I feel you always seem to know
You find the words, when I need comforting
And dry my eyes, that's why I love you so
More than a friend you're my first love
I can always depend on my first love
I feel like I have known you all my life
I can't explain how close we are
When something's wrong, you know how to make it right
That's why you stay close to my heart
You are more than a friend you're my first love
I can always depend on my first love"

"I feel like I just seen the sun for the first time
You make my life bright cuz you shine
It's me and you baby, it's our time
I'm living my dream, girl cuz you mine
You got me skippin down the street
And singin love songs all out of key
I didn't smoke nothin but I feel so high, and I know why
It's a love thing, it's got to be
Your heart's all locked and I got the key
It feels like I just won the lottery
Cuz I got my girl and she got me
You my new obsession, all I want to do
You my new obsession, girl
I feel on top of the world wit you baby
I want to dance and party tonight
I feel on top of the world wit my lady
I'm gonna rock your body all night
You makes me wanna sing:
La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; La, la la la; "

"On rainy day you brighten up my sky.
And it was cold outside, you made me feel so warm inside.
You are the answer to a prayer I prayed so long ago.
Baby here's exactly what I spoke;
'Four, five, went up to her thighs."
With my name written on her heart, I show brightly like the stars.
She would tell no lie, straight up to her guy.
Know everything I like, still something just aint right.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) I'm telling you this to good to be true
(But you're too perfect for me) To have a perfect girl like you
(Girl you're too perfect for me) Oh baby this is too good to be true.
(But you're too perfect for me) And then I found a perfect girl like you.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) Never trip about me working late at night.
And I can't remember when we ever had a fight.
You never tried to push up on my friends (No)
And everything begins the same way it ends.
No one has ever made me feel this way before, nah.
You give me everything, I couldn't ask for more.
Not just stating how I'm feeling, I'm not saying I want to let you go.
(Girl you're too perfect for me) I just want you to know, oh oh.
Girl you're too perfect for me, But you're too perfect for me.
Girl you're too perfect for me, But you're too perfect for me.
Girl you're too perfect for me "

"Did you know that everyday is so much more amazing
Waking up right next to you it feels like im daydreamin
Never thought that, i could ever,
Love somebody the way that i love you
We've had our days of fightin breakin up and leaving
But you'd always make it right, your smile made my heart begin
Heres your smell to it, right into your head and dont ever trade it
Baby i believe that we gon make it
Im so proud to say that you are my first love
When we together baby know that your the only one
When you get next to me and hold me closly, I know you love me
You make my story complete
Im so happy that i got you here to hold me down
I'll never break your heart, aint going straight no way no how
Treasure for my beloved, never betrayed trust, always thinkin bout us
Baby im forever in love
It feels so crazy when you wrap your arms around me
I place my ear against your chest, and hear your heart beat
Take good care of me, and show the reason
That i still believe our fairytale has just begun
If were in a movie then dont nobody say cut
If i could be dreamin then let me sleep forever
Your so lovely and sweet like honey
There aint nothin that can chase away this feelin
Im so proud to say that you are my first love
When we together baby know that your the only one
When you get next to me and hold me closly, I know you love me
You make my story complete
Im so happy that i got you here to hold me down
I'll never break your heart, aint going straight no way no how
Treasure for my beloved, never betrayed trust, always thinkin bout us
Baby im forever in love. "

Growing up ? Graduations coming !

(Song of the Hour: Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C ; I Will Remember You by Lil Crazed )

GRADUATION .

Well ... I just came back from KMHS' 2009 Graduation . I had to go play in the orchestra FOREVER ! & then I had to go change into a robe & run to go sing with the choir ; other than that , I liked it , I was like crying though I swear , hahah Atehh Apryll ; Kuya Steven ; Kuya CJ ; Kuya Phillip ; Atehh Jennivha ; MANN I am gunna miss them especially , UGHH I was crying , haha & then before I was crying people thought I was crying because of my retarded eye . Ohh and then before that I went to the Dentist , & he thought I was retarded because I couldn't open my eyes . Ohh And then at Graduation (this ruined the whole thing) Delorian was there & so was whats his face (well I knew he was there because he was gunna sing & the choir too) anywhoo , freakinn perve touched me , UGH ; thinks he's slick , anywhoo . Everyone took hellluh pics & videos of me when I wasn't fcckn paying attention . UGHH ! Then we were in the bus , & omg I was sitting with Angelo , that freak , & we saw a hobo sleeping by the train tracks, & then he yelled out WAKE UP ! goshhh everyone in the buss died , hahah then I shared this Asian rice thingy that atehh Kerlin gave to me , with him . then we went back to KM , and to McDonalds , & it was great . Other than that , today I was so selosa , I'm not gunna say why , but I was . And I was sad too , because the SENIORSS ! ): I'm gunna miss them so much , just think in 3 more years , that's gunna be me . UGH I don't want that day to come ): I love you guys mann ! Don't forget your little adingg sissypoop !):

Here Are Some Pics From today ;

Will you help me write this love letter ? UNDERCONSTRUCTION

(Song of the Hour: Stay Up by George Nazuka ; Too Perfect 4 Me by ATL ; Never Let You Go by Andrey Silva ; Smash Into You by Beyonce ; First Love by Karina Pasian ; Halo by Beyonce ; My First Love by Tynisha Keli & Passion ; etc. )

Dear Love ,

Well , I don't even know where to start . But , let's start with this: I love you . I know I've said it so many times , but honestly I do . Like I said before , My feelings for you are unexplainable , I've never felt like this , I've never been this happy , and I'm loving every moment of it .I love being with you , you're so amazing . I love everything about you , I don't deserve to be with you , & God is really spoiling me by blessing me with the gift of you . You are truly my first love , And like I said before , it is so early to even say the word love , but you truly are my first , and I am too (: Ever since I realized that , everything's changed , my outlooks & perspectives , it's like a huge drastic sudden change , Before I didn't believe in love , I thought it was a myth , I never ever thought that I would live the day to see love , to feel love , to be in love let alone find it . And look now ?! I know we're still helluh young , but all this is possible , and I don't think it is , I believe it is . I can't imagine leaving you even for the craziest reason ever made . Cause I'm deep into the ocean now . Now that I've been exposed to this new feeling , this new Life , I don't know how the opposite of this would be , I don't think I can bare it . And yes , I am ready to settle down , BIG TIME , for you . And only you . I promise you I will not leave you , because I can't imagine turning down a blessing from God .
I Love You , so much .

An About me About you .

(Song of the Hour: What I Like About You by the Romantics)


WOW ; I don't even know where to start . Well , let's start with this: I love everything about you , please don't ever change . Everything you do is so sweet & cute . You care so much about not only me , but other people as well , you keep your head up in situations , and I am so amazed , you have no idea: I swear ; Just like the song , Too Perfect 4 Me , you are too perfect ; I don't deserve to be with you , & god is really spoiling me by blessing me with the gift of you . I feel like I've known you for so long (I kinda have known you for a year , but yanawmsayinggg hahah .) ; I feel like We're way passed a year . I know this is just the beginning , but I know we'll make it far . You're such a cutie (: You're so kind hearted & caring , & such a good listener , even though you are impatient . You eat alot -__- , hahah , you're a fun guy to be around , You're unique , you can relate to me , vise versa . You're understanding , and you're someone that wants everyone to be happy (like mee !) I swear , you are way more than what I asked for scratch that , Pray for . I don't know how Serendipitous I am , for stumbling upon something like you . But you know what , I don't care , because I'm so grateful I have . Overall you're amazing . I don't even know , YOU don't even know . You got me saying I love you all the time , you got me thinking about you all the time , It's so hard to concentrate on something without the thought of you coming up in my mind . Hahah ; sometimes I wanna scream get out so I can concentrate , But I swear I love your company too much . Hahahh ; be grateful I love you (;

Well Today , was great , Idk about youu .

Today was , AHHH ! Freakinn great I swearr . He came by to Chill (:
The Highlights ?:

• He met some of the homaysss & they approved ? hahah ;
• What's his face saw us together (feel bad about this one tho) ;
• PHO ! hahah ;
• In the gym near the locker rooms (;
• Chillennnnn outside ;
• Walking around ;
• Nature Walk
• Getting to chill with ading Abby-kins ;
• Seeing my breastpriend Marionn ;
• And I getting to see him(EJG0610k9) ,
• I got to spend time with him ,
• I got to hold his hand ,
• I got to be in his arms ,
• I got to kiss him ,
• I got to look at him ,
• I got to feel him ,
• I got to be near him ,
• I got to be myself with him ,
• I got to love him (:

An Overall Greatassss Day (:

Here's some pics:

There's never a right time to: Say Goodbye .

(Song of the Hour: Found a New Love by Bryn Christopher ; Goodbye by Ahmir or Lyfe Jennings ; Strong by Jordyn Taylor )
Mood: Bored in Science .
More than one Song of the Hour , for this is a special occasion (;

Finally , those feelings I have for you are over & gone , out the door . I still love you so much & care about you , because honestly , if you truly love someone , you can never stop loving them . You were there for me somehow some way throughout all my fuccked up relationships ; Even after we go through hard times , we manage to stay helluh tigght ; And of course I am gunna miss those times we've had , those times we shared ; you know you will too . You're way too obvious , but you were also too scared , it's too late now . Kind of like in the movie Best Friends Wedding(1997), there was a quote there ,"Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just ... Passes you by..." All those chances , all those moments have just passed you by for the last time . I'm done waiting , Now I realized I wasted my time ; Now I realize who really does care , and he makes me the happiest I have ever been . And treats me like I have never been treated . If this makes you act all hard & cocky , it shows how much you care , how much of a dickhead you are & how immature you really are . I'm so happy that now I'm not wasting my time , I'm using it to my advantage & for my benefit ; I still got love for you , but not in that way my dear (;

FYL (instead of FML !)
YEEEEEH !

no more no more no more ; wait scratch that , more more more: love !

I can finally say I'm happy . Besides a little greezybeezy talking head ; it's all good . Today is a special day , for 2 reasons : One , today is me & wiffey's 5th year anniversary (061004) lalalalabbyouuHOE && I got to see her today & my sissaypoop Tracey & Mary , it was bombb ; And 2 , today is the beginnning to a novel called love of me & babycakes (061009); Ohyeeeeeeh ; And again I can finally say that I am truly happy & loved . I love you mann ; UGHH ; both of y'all . I'm just so speechless right now ! baby's got my tongue ; (literally) HAHHAHA SIKEE ; But maynnn ; Today was wow ..

That's all I'm gunna say (;

Excited like a kid with a new Kids Meal toy . But bored like a biznatchh .

(Song of the Hour: I'm So Excited by Pointer Sisters)



I cannot wait for Friday ; hahah ! I get to see my babycakess . Ohyeahh ; I really can't wait I am so excited . But mannnn ; imma have to keep those girls away from him (cough*AMAYA*cough) Shoots mann , they might rape him when I'm not looking . hahah , im gunna freaking cry ! Hahahah ; I can't wait , you have NO IDEA !! WOOH !



Haha besides that , I'm bored in science , my phone isn't really working all that great so I can't text , I have no clue wthell we're learning about: I jist don't get it . I really wanna go dance right now , like , danceee ; I'm kinda random right now , soo uhmm OHH I have a joke .. How do you make Lady Gaga cry ? You POKE-HER face ! hahah , skittless mann , not skillls , skittles . Sometimes I wonder which was made first or who was biting off who ? Skittles vs. M&M's . one's chocolate & ones fruity (hahah fruity). ewwwy guyy ; I just looked down at my leg & hahah , like how haila has restless leg syndrome ? I think I have ADD , I cannot , CANNOT , ever keep still , unless I'm totally out of it . hahah I'm scared , it's like I have touretts or something . haha that reminds me of how Khalil used to say Sesira had touretts all the timee , & I decided to call her that , Ohh yeahh we used to call her Mufffin F___r or Muffin rider , which reminds me of Haila's muffin story !! Here it goes



-What would you like for breakfast Donny?

Donny: Muffinsssssss

Thats right.

At Cunningham Muffins, we know that muffins make the best breakfast.

So why not try all of our exciting new flavas.

Rasberry.

Cranberry.

Apples.

Cinnamon.

Pecan.

Pumpkin.

Nut.

Date Nut.

Lemon Poppy Seed muffin.

BANANA.

Orange.

Peach.

Strawberry.

Blueberry.

Bosionberry.

Almond.

CHOCO-CHOCO CHIP.

Carrot.

GOOSEberryPumpernickle.

Fish.

Paperclip.

Ink.

Bird.

Shampoo.

Starwars muffin.

Bullfrog.

Crickets.

Cigarette.

(coughs)Isreali-Palistinian conflict muffins.

Bits of glass muffin.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh.Absestos.

IM BAKING MUFFINS AS BEST AS I CAN HAHAHAHAHAH.

MONKEY!

Algero muffin.

Elephant.

Pencil.

Newspaper.

FIRE!!!

Imaaaaaaginary muffin.

Cartoon muffin!

Blood.

What muffin would you like for breakfast Donny?

Donny: I lost my appetite.

You'll eat a muffin, you'll eat it and like it.

So try all of our delicious Cunningham Muffins, at Cunningham Muffins!



Best poem EVER ; ahha another story by Haila I would like to share with the world wide international online web is her story about a certain man

-There once was a man who lived in bandoo

Who fell asleep in a canoue

He dreamed of venus

While play with his _____

and woke up with a hand full of GOO !



Hahha I feel that I should go on with filipino jokes , that's how bored I amm (; And that's what I'm gunna doo foo !

(for these jokes say it in a filipino accent)

-Use "penis" in a sentence: Don't porget to penis your homework

-Use "dinuguan" in a sentence: I try to turn on da T-B but it dinuguan !

-Use "Uno dos tre" in a sentence: UNO ! Dos tres are BURNING !!

-Use "associate" in a sentence: I went to the bathroom and associate in de toilet

-Use "bitch" in a sentence: Let's go to da bitch tooday , becos it is hot .

-Use "paul" 4 times in a sentence: Paul ! Becare-paul you might paul , in the swimming paul !

-Use "tenacious" in a sentence: Don't porget to put on your tenacious bepor you go outside .

-Use "persuading" in a sentence: My persuading anibersary was yesterday .

-Use "deletion" in a sentence: The skin of deletion is crispy !

-Use "deposit" in a sentence: I went to go wash my hands but deposit was clogged -__-.

-(add more later)



These other ones you might have to think .

-What is an ugly cow ? E-COW !

-What is the sound made when a dog hits the wall ? DOOG !

-(add more later)



EXIT + LETTER= Different Meaning .

ANG EXIT NA SALITA AY MAY IBANG KAHULUGAN PALA
B+EXIT=BEXIT-upuan sa likod
C+EXIT=CEXIT-suck it
D+EXIT=DEXIT-That’s it
F+EXIT=FEXIT-fix it or fax it
G+EXIT=GEXIT-maghanda sa tagalog
H+EXIT=HEXIT-has it
J+EXIT=JEXIT-just eat
K+EXIT=KEXIT-kiss it or casing
L+EXIT=LEXIT-lacks it or leaks it
M+EXIT=MEXIT-max it or mix it
N+EXIT=NEXIT-knocks it
P+EXIT=PEXIT-pay it or peksman
Q+EXIT=QEXIT-quickset
R+EXIT=REXIT-recite in bisaya or receipt
S+EXIT=SEXIT-sexy
T+EXIT=taxi or tacit (implied but not expressed)
V+EXIT=VEXIT-vaccine in Filipino bakuna
W+EXIT=WEXIT-wax it or weight it
X+EXIT=XEXIT-buntisin mo
Y+EXIT=YEXIT-”yes, sit”
Z+EXIT=ZEXIT-jock sit

(add more later)



It's almost time to go , so I willll BE GONE !

yeeeeeeh ;D

I don't know what to do ..

(Song of the Hour: We Might as Well be Strangers by Keane)



When you really care for someone , you do all you can to protect them . You do all you can to make sure they're safe , forever & always . But reality is , you can't . You can't always be there to pick up someone when ever they fall . You're only there to brush them off & ask if they're okay , you can't really do anything about it . It fucking sucks .. it really does . Today , 3 people I care about greatly told me some bullshitt . Honestly , I thought today was gunna be cool , until I found this shitt out . One of them just broke a like month or so of soberness , but I trust her , that she won't take it far , so I'm not as mad about that . But I'm not gunna say what one of the other two did because HE reads my blog .. Now for the second guy , I guess he could care less about me , so he would have no way of reading this blog of mine . Fuccking telling me "not to tell anyone" and that "it's good" WTF MANN UGHH ; Just found out he fuccking smokes . Doesn't he know HOW MUCH I CARE FOR HIM ?! He's prolly to fuccking high to even know what he's talking about or telling me . He doesn't know how much this hurts the people around him & ME . If he's fuccking joking about this , then that's just greez , he of all people should know the reason for that . Ever since he started chillen with them certain people he's changed so much , fucciking got cockier or something , he changed for the worst , he's still a freshmen , mann , yet he's tryna act like them people , GAHHD I miss the old him , the real him , I don't even know anymore . And then the other guy I was talking about ! UGHH ; wthell man . I thought he quit shitt , I guess not . And all this other shitt that he's doing is fuccking pissing me off . We never ever fought like this , lately we've been fighting like fuccking Many Pacquiao & Oscar de la Hoya . We've been getting on each other's case lately , I forgave him for last time's shitt , so today we were cool again , and then we started fighting & getting each other helluh pissed off again , we never used to fight .. wtfs happened .. If they read this , they would've prolly been like I'm over reacting too much or some BS ; but honestly , I've lost family & friends , because of all the stupid shitt that they do . I lost the people I cared so much about & looked up to & loved , because of that shitt , And the only reason why I'm fuccking crying over this bullshitt , is cause I care so much about them . I don't want them to get hurt , I don't want them to be sad , mad , angry , depressed w/e . I want them to be safe & happy . And if they don't care about me at all the same way I care about them , then w/e , I'll be fine as long as I know they're safe .

It makes me wonder , Do they even think thoroughly about everything before they do shitt ?

UGHHH

Poor triangle had an accident and lost one of it's sides due to an injury and turned into a line with 2 points instead of a 3 pointed geometric figure

(Song of the Hour: Lalala by LMFAO) [and any other love song you can think of]

(Well , Blogger is being GHETTO ; and won't upload this ,
but click here for your present , hope you like it(: )


<3>I feel like I've just seen the sun for the first time . You make my life bright cause you shine . It's me and you baby , it's our time . I'm living my dream , boy cause you're mine . You got me skippinn down the street . And singing love songs all out of key , I didn't smoke nothing but I feel so high . And I know why , it's a love thing , it's got to be . Your heart's all locked and I got the key . It feels like I've just won the lottery . Cause I got my man and he got me . Oh , I can't get you out my mind . Everything you do is feelin right . Remember that way you caught my eye ? I remember that way you was walkin by . Ooh boy , watch out now . You looked at me , turned around and smiled . Gave me eyes , my heart went wild . Hypnotized , this love starts now . And how do I know you're real ? It really doesn't matter , it's the way I feel . You make me feel super like the man of steel . Got me goin stupid , pickin daffodils . You're my new obsession . All I want to do , You're my new obsession, boy ,
I feel on top of the world with you baby , You make me wanna sing
La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ; La, la la la ;
-How did this happen ? What's going on mannn ?! How do I explain this ? This feeling I have ? I thought I've been through this , been through that , I thought I knew almost everything about relationships .. was I blind before ? Or am I just falling for something real ? Dear lord help me ! "Poor triangle had an accident and lost one of it's sides due to an injury and turned into a line with 2 points instead of a 3 pointed geometric figure" I hate math , but somehow I get this , it's crystal clear to me . Howaboutyou ?! "my supergentleman" is amazing , I can't even describe how . After meeting ______ I didn't think that there would be any other guy for me after him , but WOW , was I WRONG ; hahah ; I hate being wrong , everyone does , but I don't like being wrong about this kinda shizzz ; I never thought that I would ever be with "mysupergentleman" like , never . It's weird , how you say / think that you're never ever guna be with someone , and then eventually you get with them , (that's how it was with YanYan the second time , cause I hated his guts), but maynnn ; WOW , I still can't get over the whole thing , the conversation we had last night (even though the phone & skype kept disconnecting) was AHHH-mazing . hahah . (sorry: repetitive) But maynn .. It hasn't been that long , and you know what ? I'm not falling for him anymore . I've fallen for him . Hahah ; Honestly I've been avoiding falling for anyone , I gave so many guys chances , that I gave up & started dropping guys without giving them any chance ; it was also that , when I did give them a chance , they didn't even try to be with me , impress me , or even just try to talk to me , right after I gave them the chance to (cough*YanYan*cough); Honestly I've waited for him for so long , and I don't want to wait any longer . So many people have been telling me to drop him , and that's what imma do . I don't wanna waste my time with him anymore ; I wanna start to USE my time , for "mysupergentleman" My feelings for him are like an opera singer belting out a high C # 2 octaves high , perfect pitch . I haven't felt like this , I can't even remember the time I've felt like this , Actually , I don't think I ever felt like this , ever .I don't know mann , I swear ; I feel: alive , I feel renewed , I feel complete , somehow like I have a purpose . haha "MOTIVATION" I love the feeling , I haven't felt this feeling in such a long time , I haven't heard the words "I Love You" in such a long time . It hasn't been that long , but I can't control my thoughts & feelings . I honestly can say , (and utterly mean it) I love you . And you know who you are , EJG<3

I've caught you , but somehow you are just too far away (not that far cause I've caught you) but far enough that your out of my reach ...

(Song of the Hour: Long Distance Lover by Tay Dizm ft. Young Cash & Long Distance Relationship by Asia Cruise)[2 songs this time]

Like I said ,"I've caught you , but somehow you are just too far away (not that far cause I've caught you) but far enough that your out of my reach ..." This isn't really a long distance relationship I guess , it's just different schools . You know you know ; Let's be totally honest ; cause honesty is the best policy . NAWMSAYINGG ?! OkayOkay ; you don't know how badly I wanna see you right now , Like IN PERSON ! hahah ; I really want to ): It hurts (that sounded weird) Anywhoo ; You don't know how much I really wanna see you & be with you right now , the long phone conversations , the long IM's & Text messages , UGHH ; they're not enough ! This is plain out TORTURE MAYNNN ; and then also , just those people that keep constantly trying to break what we have ; I know it's pretty early , but we had this conversation already (; this blog isn't that short is it ? Well , let's make it LONG ! basically my point is ...
i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you 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i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you i wanna be with you
NOW !


Is My point made yet ?

Labels should only stick to items for sale , NOT people !

(Song of the Hour: Stereotype by 'D' from O.S.O Family Entertainment)

Why is it that most people in this fccked up(at times)world, look at someone , and they have an instant stereotypical label for them ? Honestly , I think it's stupid . I don't just look at someone(thinking they're a book) & then come up with some stupid stereotype category shelf to put you in , that makes me like some messed up librarian or something . Honestly get to know the real person , at that point in time , not the real person who they were then . Please constantly update your mind like a computer updates its system(<--- Nerd). Like lately , ever since I've met ________ , people have seriously been getting on my headd . Shitt ; I am being constantly vexed by people being SOOPER protective of me . Like all my kuya's & atehh's . All I've heard was that he isn't a good guy , how he's just a hit it & book it kinda guy , how he's a player , how he just wants to get some , how he's just a sweet talker to get what he wants , just so much degrading shitt . It's like constantly they're looking for every bad aspect of him to use to break anyone down . But the thing that they're missing is the good . Sometimes people only pay attention to the worst in people (stereotypicalbitchess) , that they forget that everyone has not only a bad side , but a good side (badprejudgement). They have trained themselves like how dogs are trained , when his name comes up it's automatically a bad thought . It's such a bad prejudgement . I wish that people could just sit & think and look at the good side in people for once , cause there might be a chance that it'll tip the scales and out weigh the bad things . I mean people change , it's not impossible for people to change , like I was talking to my Kuya Aaron about this , and you know what he told me ?: "People can change , it's not impossible for people to change , I mean look at me , I changed for her , because of her , I dropped the gang banging and all that bad stuff , and hanging out with the wrong people and now I hangout with the right people , because of her ." And you know , I don't like changing people , but if it's for the better , I will do it . Like honestly I think he is changing / he's changed . Highschool is full of change , its a chapter in our lives where we figure out who we really are , or at least work toward who we are to be . I personally think that he can change if he is still like that , how people describe him to me , I'm sure he can change for the better , because in every bad person , there is a good side , or else there wouldn't be balance , basic yin & yang , a subject I slowly learned through sensei's , ancestors' , family , friends , lovers , and life . I know where they're coming from , I really do , but it's like yeahh they don't want me to get hurt & all , but no one really knows when they will get hurt only the person causing the pain does . But also , I ask you , what is love without it's risks ? If I don't take that risk of being with somebody , how will I ever know if it could've meant more than just a relationship ? Honestly , and if I do get hurt , well fuckk , that's gunna happen in EVERY relationship anyway . And at least I know the truth afterwards , if it was really meant to be or just some relationship . And to all my kuya's & atehhs telling me he's a bad guy ,
Well sorry, Good Girls just can't stay away from Bad Guy's (;

A new love is born

(Song of the Hour: I'm Tryna by Omarion)

First off ; SCREW MY LAST POST ! I mean it's cute & all but screw it and leave it . You know ... I don't know what to feel actually ; I should be SOOPER happy , I should be mad , I should be sad , I should be - well basically I have a right to feel what ever right now . Let's get straight to the point , I hate love/like triangles I HATE them , UGHH ; Okay , in my last post I was talking about this guy ; let's call him YANYAN (I thought you all might be tired of all the numbers). Now me and YanYan have some history , shoot , we have so much history it should be a history textbook . I loved him for so long you have no idea , I waited for him for so long , I went through many heart breaks with him ; He’s witnessed me go through many heartbreaks & F’d up relationships . For some reason he’s always been the one to make me smile , and I don’t want to lose that . The thing is , is that we always are on this cycle , I hate it . And I’m tired of it . Lately , it seems like we are drifting back to the fade step of the cycle . I don’t even know why . I’m losing feelings for him , I mean yeahh I still love him , cause if you truly do love someone , you never stop loving them . Now the other point in this geometric love problem , let’s call this guy supergentleman [(:] Like , honestly I don't know if I should be feelingg this guy or not . I am utterly confoozled . I met him a while back , and back then had a bad prejudgment about him , because of what I heard , from a so called “friend” then . We just recently started to get to know each other . We had deep conversation’s already d: . It’s really early , for me to fall for him , because , I like to take things slow . It usually takes me like at least a month to get to know them really well ; then usually a little bit more after that , I fall for them , or realize that I don't like them in that way . But with "supergentleman" (hahah still can't get over that) I'm falling fast ; I haven't fallen this fast for any guy , and I keep telling myself how stupid I am for not thinking . I'm diving into an endless ocean without giving a damn , and then I find out it's an empty abyss , and all there is left to do since swimming isn't an option , is fall . He's such a sweet guy , he cares so much about me , He's helluh real with me , he's not fake , he just makes me feel like I really do matter to someone , I don't know , sometimes I think he's too good to be true . He's falling fast for me too ! Ughh , sometimes I hate myself because honestly this always happens , I'm just trying to be friends with someone , & then they end up falling head over heals for me -__- , it sucks most of the time , cause I don't ever wanna hurt them , you know ? I don't wanna lead them on either , I hate that , I even do that sometimes without knowing . But mann , I swearr ; This Triangle keeps getting constantly deformed , earlier it was an equilateral , Now its just totally deformed and confused , all because feelings keep shifting .
Oh Gott ; Help Me !!!


FML !